Things happen when U least expect it

So tired.........

I am so tired of complaining about my boss. She did it again today. As usual, giving vague instructions, expecting us to understand what she wants and then blame us when things went wrong. She assumes a lot of things. I think all the other depts in my company hate my dept now because of her "assumptions".

But then again, I started to think whether there is anything wrong with me. I had an unexpected meeting today. I called it unexpected because I thought I would never meet this person. And after the meeting, I thought to myself what I have been doing for the past 2 years since I graduated. Am I expecting too much out of my life, my career and my relationship with my family and friends?

WorK. Well this is my 4th job now. Came into this job because I wanted more challenges and a higher pay. Think it was a peer pressure because my fellow school friends (esp those in the finance and accountany major) were being paid higher than me. Being a fresh marketing major graduate with so-so results do not get paid that well back then. But I managed to find a job. Pay sucks but at least I was not starving. Now I got a bettter paying job but the working relationship sucks. The communication process sucks. But then again, am I doing anything to improve the situation or am I running away? I am starting to think that maybe I have been running away from all the problems and not sucking it up and stick through it that made me unhappy. And then came the decision to change job. But then again, when do you come to a point and know that the job just doesn't suit you and whatever you do will not improve the situation? And the better choice would be to leave and seek greener pastures. Or am I actually afraid of challenges? Am I being picky at work due to tasks that I am not supposed to do or was taken granted for doing? I think there need to be a balance between real work and redundant work. Not sure if my current pasture is green and sweet. I think I should chew on it and see how it taste like......after a while........tolerence goes a long way I guess....

Relationship with Family and Friends: This one is tough man.......I know who my best buddies and close friends are because they were there for me when I was down (you people know who you are!!!:) ) They offered me wise advice and showed me the direction when I was lost. Relationship with my family is not that close. I may appear nonchalant about them but deep inside, i care about them. Love relationship....I guess I leave it for later......

Life: I think all the above sums up my life. Currently I'm feeling really lost now. I really don't know what to do. I am not sure if I like my job but I think maybe I can try to think less negatively and more positively and try to see if I can do anything to improve the situation. In any workplace there are bound to be problems. Sometimes when we try too hard, we won't get what we want. When we stop trying, things might improve on its own. So I think let nature runs it course. If its meant to be, its meant to be.......

Hopefully I will get to meet up with that unexpected person again. Things might change.......if not, so be it.

Band pracitce for the past two days were ok.....still trying to gel everything together. I need to work harder for el camino real and the other pieces....

9 days to Ay Caramba.......so tired.....band, work, band, work..........I think I'm going to be sick...: (

23 Jan 2008 9.56pm