El Camino Real ~ "The Grand Walk"
End of week 9...the MOI presentation on monday was not good. I felt so when I saw the other groups' presentation. Even Prof said so during the fedback. So demoralised man...Prof said to me that he is relying on me to lead my group back on track for the final presentaion...stress...he really wants to help us but a large part depends on us to buck up and do well...I have to help my group, but they have to help me too...
Feel so restless these days, just not motivated to do anything. I should feel motivated because I am graduating soon and this is my last semester to try my best. Or maybe its because I know I will miss school that I dread graduation? I was clearing my mailbox just now and saw some folders of past emails. One of them was an email from my comms prof, glenn, during year 1 regarding my comms presentation grade and comments. Dated 11 april 2003...wow, seems so long ago and I suddenly remembered all those happy,sad and so-so memories of my 3.5 years in SMU. Sadly, happy memories seems to be the least, but I felt some consolation as to have some memories that I can still remember. I guess the most cherished thing I have got in SMU was being a part of Symphonia, and a handful of great friends who bothered to listen to me when I was down. There were also some whom I thought were my friends, but they are not after all...and lastly I have a friend whom I have not talked to for a long time because our friendship was strained by an incident during my first year. Sometimes I think he did want to talk to me but was afraid that things might get awkward or maybe he didn't want me to get the wrong idea. Maybe he didn't mean to hurt me, and I must say that I was partly to blame. I have put the incident behind me but it still left a small knot in my heart. I felt like I lost a friend for nothing. I hope he is doing well so far and maybe one day we will be friends again. Hope I can get to tell him this before I graduate. Probably he might see this message? So drop me a line if you read this?
Also bothered by the fact that I am so damn broke that I can't do anything or go anywhere. But luckily I have friends who have been helping me so far, paying stuff for me when I go out with them, saying that I can pay back when I start working, and they know how broke it is to be a student. Really thankful and grateful to them...thank you alan for helping me to pay for the MPO concert ticket first, and liangjun, always so understanding. I feel so bad and I have so much to repay them...
Today's band prac went ok...but it is difficult without the conductor. Playing el camino real felt nostalgic, hopefully we can have that in our repertoire next year.
21 Oct 2005
End of week 9...the MOI presentation on monday was not good. I felt so when I saw the other groups' presentation. Even Prof said so during the fedback. So demoralised man...Prof said to me that he is relying on me to lead my group back on track for the final presentaion...stress...he really wants to help us but a large part depends on us to buck up and do well...I have to help my group, but they have to help me too...
Feel so restless these days, just not motivated to do anything. I should feel motivated because I am graduating soon and this is my last semester to try my best. Or maybe its because I know I will miss school that I dread graduation? I was clearing my mailbox just now and saw some folders of past emails. One of them was an email from my comms prof, glenn, during year 1 regarding my comms presentation grade and comments. Dated 11 april 2003...wow, seems so long ago and I suddenly remembered all those happy,sad and so-so memories of my 3.5 years in SMU. Sadly, happy memories seems to be the least, but I felt some consolation as to have some memories that I can still remember. I guess the most cherished thing I have got in SMU was being a part of Symphonia, and a handful of great friends who bothered to listen to me when I was down. There were also some whom I thought were my friends, but they are not after all...and lastly I have a friend whom I have not talked to for a long time because our friendship was strained by an incident during my first year. Sometimes I think he did want to talk to me but was afraid that things might get awkward or maybe he didn't want me to get the wrong idea. Maybe he didn't mean to hurt me, and I must say that I was partly to blame. I have put the incident behind me but it still left a small knot in my heart. I felt like I lost a friend for nothing. I hope he is doing well so far and maybe one day we will be friends again. Hope I can get to tell him this before I graduate. Probably he might see this message? So drop me a line if you read this?
Also bothered by the fact that I am so damn broke that I can't do anything or go anywhere. But luckily I have friends who have been helping me so far, paying stuff for me when I go out with them, saying that I can pay back when I start working, and they know how broke it is to be a student. Really thankful and grateful to them...thank you alan for helping me to pay for the MPO concert ticket first, and liangjun, always so understanding. I feel so bad and I have so much to repay them...
Today's band prac went ok...but it is difficult without the conductor. Playing el camino real felt nostalgic, hopefully we can have that in our repertoire next year.
21 Oct 2005
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