hi again...

Over 3 months have past since I left my ex-company. Felt like such a long time. My new job is better in the sense that I have a sense of satisfaction in my work and I have never felt like this for a long time. Still remember my last day of work at that place. I was rushing through that entire day on preparation for an event which I wouldn't be present. I didn't have time to say my goodbyes but there was one goodbye I will never forget. A short conversation promising to catch up, jap movies and a hug that I never expected but will always remember.

9.55pm

a little bit better

Today we had sectional practice. Yx came to teach us and will be our tutor for now till the competition in july. For the first time after so long (i think since NBC last year), I sounded so much better today. The tone I was producing was nicer and cleaner. Hopefully to play great by july, achieving a nice sound for my section (with ms), if not, better than how I sounded in the first NBC.

Yesterday was sucky at work. Mood was terrible. I was so upset but today I felt better, still learning to accept things the way they are. The practice tonight helped a lot.

14 May 2009, 12:35am

Taken

Into the 4th month of year 2009. Time sure flies....

Last weeekend celebrated ger's 28th birthday (and also a belated birthday celebration for carol). I'm just glad that this bunch of sec sch classmates still bother to gather together every now and then to celebrated each other's birthday. A routine that we religiously followed since we left sec sch. As all of us get older, I wonder what will the future bring for me and for my friends....

That night after dinner, ger and gang decided to go bowling and we headed to orchid country club. It has been a very long time since I stepped into this place. I had my first job as a part-time waitress at a cafe here after my O level exams and missed those days. As the car turned into the car park, I thought I caught a glimpse of my ex-captain and guessed he must still be working at the club all these years.

Thurs was cher's birthday and her friend planned a surprise dinner for her and got mel to coordinate with the others to join in. She was so touched that we were all there. She looks happy.

Tried a two-hour bodycombat class yesterday at the gym and brought yh along. I was amazed I could endure till the end of the class..almost...we went to Iluma to catch the movie Taken, which is really good. Intense and grippling till the every end. Its scary that human trafficking still happens, especially to women and children. Ladies, be wary when you talk to strangers overseas. yh and I were talking before the movie started and I was saying how I am now back to my pre-relationship days. Before my previous relationship, I was leading a life like now - work, band and friends. Being single for more than a year now, life has been pretty ok. Like what yh said, I think music saved me. Continuing to play in the band kept me alive in a way...occupied my mind when I am stressed at work and my friends there are great. suz certified me "all clear", as in full recovery mode although I have other things to worry about. Its still scares me a little although I hope to meet someone. xl commented that I am a bit aloof when it comes to meeting guys, saying that I need to be more initiative. I hope I don't seem to be that aloof.

11 April 2009 11:37pm

Ethan

Suz and yh went to catch The Winter's Tale with me yesterday. We sat at circle 3, quite far from the stage. The faces of the actors were a bit small for us to see but seeing one of my favourite actors Ethan Hawke was still a plus point for me. The charactor that he played, Autolycus, was a mischevious thief who is funny. Love him. Not knowing what the story was about, we were puzzled and confused by the plot. But the acting was superb and next time if I were to attend another play, I will read up what the tale is about beforehand. It was a new experience for suz and yh although they had difficulty figuring out the story.

Actually I was moody yesterday. Was quiet most of the time after the play ended. We headed to suz's place to get stuff before we bought ba chor mee and yam paste at bedok and then went to ECP to eat and chill there with wine. Heard suz and yh talked a lot of things about their friends and outings and how much fun they had. Wished I get to join them too. And the part about a friend of theirs, it kind of reflected on me whether I am a stubborn and bad-tempered person. Am I difficult to get along with? Am I a good friend? Lately felt that I couldn't control my emotions as well ever since I joined the company.

The event on friday went rather alright. For the next similar event, I was thinking of a better way to admit and control the crowd as the queue was so long. But it was more of the negative vibe among my colleagues that bothered me. Things at work have not been smooth-going for them lately. It affects me and how I should be careful when I work with them. Anyway the feeling is just unhappy. Saw a few friends whom I have not seen for a long time at the party and it was good to see them. But didn't get to talk to one of them which was sad. sigh... I just hope things will get better and what I can do to help everyone.

29 March 2009 8:29pm

my race.....

I ran at my first Standard Chartered Marathon yesterday, completing the 10km race in approx. 1 hr 27 mins. I took it slow as I was afraid that my knees will not be able to hold out the distance. The pain came at the 5k mark. I was glad Huim was with me throughout the race and spurred me on as we sprinted the final metres to the finishing line. Extreme pain followed....

The reason why I run at the long distance races is that I want to develop a strong mind and a healthy body. I think if I can endure the pain that I experience during a run, my mind should be able to take me through any challenges, such as those that I experience at work.

After the race, all of us (suz, her bro, YA, Pat, Ed, Yh and HuiM) went for breakfast at Bugis Junction's Ya Kun Kaya Toast. I always like the feeling of having a meal and conversation with a close group of friends. Makes me feel cosy. Although I don't exactly have this feeling at home, I just don't want to think too much about it.

Attended shir's christmas party in the evening which she organised it with her church cell group mates. Her friends were really nice, trying to make us feel at home. As much as I know that they are nice and friendly people, I just don't think I will convert to a christian. I believe Jesus exists but I just don't hear or feel him talking or answering to me, with all due respect. I just don't feel anyhing. So every year at christmas time, when shir invited me to her church gathering, I will go as its an invitation from her and the whole group of us gals will also go and take it as a small gathering for us. I'm not exactly there to be touch by Him. I'm just happy to hang out with shir and my gang of caring angels.

I didn't see ms at yesterday's race but if she is going ahead with her India trip, I really pray that she will be safe and sound.

I miss the msning.....
8 Dec 2008 2:27pm

It's not looking good

bad times......and i wonder if I will still be working in this place in 3 months' time...when my contract ends...
nope, i don't regret leaving my ex-company...that place do not deserve me. Even though its a full-time position.
Although my current boss has got high expectations and the job is so damn stressful, I actually feel that this place can make me grow. I am learning to handle tasks that can be difficult and knowing how to deal with it made me stronger. Yes, there are lots of frustrations but I am starting to accept it. But just when I am beginning to like my job, I face uncertainties. The financial downturn has resulted in a budget cut and I am not sure if I am going to be confirmed as a permanent staff. No news of it lately as well and the things that I have doing for the past few weeks do not bode well too. I am not sure what my boss is thinking now but I hope she can see my hard work although I make mistakes and don’t perform as well at times. I’m just so f**king fed up why things don’t turn out well when the situation was starting to look promising! I want to stay on. I don’t want to be on the move for another place again. I’m just so f**king tired!!!

sad.......

18 Nov 2008 10:30pm

Easing in....

The Gathering

Yesterday we had a gathering of people whom I have not seen for a long time. Its my spband friends (from my batch) and everyone still seems pretty much the same, busy with work and other stuff. The main topic of our conversations seem to revolved around the gloomy economic situation now. Reduced budgets, freezing of headcounts.....although we are all not in the financial sector, we still feel the impact of the downturn. Don got a pair of levi's (from the outlet at Raffles City) at $50 off by trading in your old jeans so I also went to have a look. But the sales girl wasn't so helpful and my size was not available so I didn't get it in the end. It was mainly due to the unhelpfulness of the sales assistant that I did not buy anything. She didn't even bother to offer suggestions or find out exactly what I was looking for. The art of service is certainly not easy to attain but I feel that enthusiasm goes a long way. Sure its easy for me to say that but I have also worked in retailing before. The store wasn't busy at that time and if the sales assistant choose to idle around and not bother about serving me, I shall bring my business to somewhere else.

Anyway, we ended off the evening with coffee and more chats. The feeling is familiar as we always had coffee over conversations during the old days.

Nice Dinner

My boss treated us to dinner on wed and it was really fun. For the first time, i actually felt relaxed and there was so much talk and laughter and I got to know my colleagues better. Work is really stressful here. So far I have got through it because my colleagues have been helpful in showing me the way. Heard some things during the dinner and it made me wonder whether some people are not what they seem to be...

Band Break

The band is taking a break for exams and friday was the last practice. They had a performance yesterday but I couldn't take part in it due to the gathering. I hope the performance went well although I felt it was too last minute and slightly not organised. Sometimes I feel like helping them by offering my advice on how things can be done. As I was previously the librarian when I was in the committee, I wonder if I should offer my help to the new librarian on how she could perform her task better. But I was afraid that I will be intruding or stepping into areas that are no longer my business to bother with.

Year is coming to an end soon.....time really flies. And I am thankful to my friends for getting me to where I am today.

I'm still hoping...

9 Nov 2008 8:40pm

Feelings of frustration but with a dash of happiness

The Event
The days leading up to wednesday were bad. After the long weekend holiday (which I spent the sunday working), tuesday was a mad dash. I think my boss was stressed over the event and reprimanded me and my colleague for not doing and preparing enough and being unsure of our respective roles for the program. A miscommunication in our discussion made me thought I should print one master list and one rsvp list for the reception. I also misunderstood my boss's email. She was hopping mad when I got to the venue on wed morning. I had to call my colleague at the office to re-do the list and help me get it printed. I actually stayed at the office till midnight the night before to print the list but the formatting kept running our of place and I was so frustrated with it. Only had a few hours of sleep and even dreamt that I was still doing the excel sheet in the office! The whole day of setup went on with scoldings from my boss but I bear with it although I nearly broke down after the morning incident. The event went rather well without a glitch but I felt I could have done better if my boss actually got me more involved in the planning because she kept saying she has to tell us what to do at ground level. But if she had got me more involved in the planning since day one, I would have thought of the questions earlier and not the day before. Or am I being incompetent?
The next day at work, my boss sent a thank-you email to me and my colleague and told us to take two days off as long as we clear off any urgent stuff. Just when I thought things might be ok, she chided my other colleague and me for not doing this powerpoint file for another dept which they needed it asap. But then, in an earlier email that she sent last week, she told everyone that we are busy with wed's event and could only discuss about it on thursday! She doesn't seem to recall what she has mentioned before and should check what she replied first before saying anything. But I must say she is a good leader.

Slow progress at rehearsal
My conductor didn't come at friday's practice. There was this student who came to conduct the band as past of his assignment and this incident created some bad vibe among a few people. Its all bad decision making but I hope things will pick up after this. We went Robertson Quay for drinks and I got drunk again ( wasn't like this for quite some time). Sorry guys :(.

Bliss
Yesterday was KT and Shar's solemnisation ceremony. A simple affair at the singapore arts museum. A few of us helped to coordinate to throw rose petals at shar and her dad down the isle as he gave away his daughter to KT. We were camwhores the whole evening, taking a lot of pictures. Xl wondered why people from our class who seemed the least likely to get married first are hitting the altar before us. I wonder as well but I have kind of leave it to fate to decide when I will meet my prince charming. To create some fun, KT and Shar gathered all the single ladies to catch the throwing bouquet. shir nearly caught it but it slipped her hand and fell to the ground so shar threw it a second time. Someone else caught it instead and shir lamented that it should have been hers. haha....

Its been a frustrating week but there was a moment when my mood was lifted. He came by to talk to me...:) and that made my day.

2 Nov 2008 9:34pm

A Fairytale Wedding

It was a lovely wedding.

My galfriend cin got married on sunday and sdra, emi and I were her bridesmaids, together with a few of her other good friends. I really took my hat off her and her husband for planning such a detailed wedding with unique touches that I didn't or seldom see at other weddings.

The morning gatecrash action by the groom's party was the hilarious one. The groom actually barged in through the window in the bedroom next to the living room! And we didn't get our full red packet amount! The groommen were also a bunch of crazy and funny people. But what touched me in the entire wedding was the MTV they made using scenes from their outdoor photo taking session for the wedding photo album/gallery (oh, you should see how they do up their reception area! Instead of a photo montage, they displayed their wedding photos in a gallery setting. Viewing the pictures on frames and boards and nicely decorated. There were also well-wishes trees and an express photo-taking area for guest to take their picture and get it printed on the spot). It was sweet and loving and cin was so beautiful. The scenes showed how much they care and love each other. Earlier, as emi and I were sitting at the reception counter, I was telling her that seeing everyone around me getting married and attached made me feel a bit dejected about myself...but she said I should enjoy my singlehood and the special someone might not be far away.

But what really made me glad was that the four of us still care and keep in touch with each other after all these years. Cin's wedding brought us all back together again and the feeling was pure nostalgia. Real friends are those who pulled through with you after many years of changes and chapters in your life.

Hectic week ahead.....

11:45pm 7 Oct 2008

Hectic

I finally got to watched season 3of Heroes. Watched on streaming tv websites which is a bit jerky. It was great. My favourite character is Peter Petrelli. :)

The past week has been extremely hectic. My dept had to move to a new work area within the office, downstairs actually, so my colleague and I were busy moving stuff and doing our work at the same time. There was so much packing done and lots of stuff to sieve through and throw away. On Thursday, my manager talked to me again. She will convert me to a permanent position after all and want me to take over a task that has been vacant for a while. I wasn’t very keen in the task but I thought that maybe I can give it a try and at the same time, help the entire dept in whatever marketing activities are going on, especially during peak period where some of my colleagues will need the extra assistance. My manager called it “floating” around the dept which is helping everyone and I think I will still learn useful things by doing some miscellaneous stuff and handling the duty that my manager wants me to be in charge.
I do worry whether I am trying too hard to deliver and if I have produced good performance; my manager might deem me a failure if I made a mistake. She has high expectation and said unless I did terribly, I should be fine. She answered my queries as to why she always refers me as a temp staff in her correspondence to everyone. She told the whole dept that she will convert me to permanent at a short meeting on Friday.

Ended work late on Friday and then went to school to attend sym’s AGM. I have not been attending their past few AGMs so this one is probably special. Yx was there as well and being the only two alumni there, the feeling was weird and nostalgic. I remembered during my exco’s AGM that year and I was also standing there presenting my office and handling over to the new leader of the office of library. I left after the AGM ended as I had to work the next day. I went back with Au and we updated each other on the train. She is taking a break from sym. I need to quickly practice my part for the upcoming performance. So stressful with work and band!

Yx, 3sa and al came for my event on Saturday and we went to catch Painted Skin, a Chinese movie about a fox spirit who falls in love with a war general and wants to get rid of his wife so as to become his wife. It was a touching story and it taught me that one will really sacrifice a lot for love. It is also possible to fall for someone else when you are already married but still feel committed and responsible to stay in the marriage instead. I guess love will fade in a marriage as time goes on and it takes more than just love to stay together.

Met someone quite cute in the office recently. Well, I just see how things will progress as I continue my work there. :)

28 Sept 2008 9:29pm

Thank you Stranger!

I was out running earlier.

I thought the rain had stopped so I went for the run even though there was a teeny weeny drizzle but I thought it would stop. It didn't and got heavier when I was like 3/4 of the way. As I was trying to rush back, I was stopped by a commotion outside the primary school near my place, along the sheltered pathway. There is actually a construction going on at the school and a huge construction vehicle (those long lorries that transport construction vehicles like forklifts and cranes) was trying to reverse into the site but ended up blocking the entire road. I was soaking wet and with the passer-bys and the super long vehicle blocking the way, I couldn't pass through so I just stood there and wait while the contruction workers figure out how to get the driver to manoeuver the truck in.

And then, a bespectacled guy who was standing next to me and saw that I was soaked through, offered me a pack of tissue and showed a gesture to wipe my wet face. I was surprised and turn him down at first but he insisted so I accepted the kind offer. So we just stood there and watched the entire drama where the super long vehicle struggled to reverse in with all the other motorists blaring their horns impatiently. All this while, I know this guy was looking over at me but I didn't really looked at him. Guess I was a bit embarrassed being soaked in my sports singlet and shorts. When the road was cleared, all the passer-bys who were standing on either side of the long truck started walking pass the truck. I turned around and thanked him for the tissue. He smiled and I ran back home. What surprised me in this incident was that the guy bothered to offer me tissue paper after seeing that I got wet in the rain. I mean, many singaporeans are not that kind or helpful even when they see someone could need some assistance. I was running so of cos I would be sweaty and with the rain, it made things worse as I got wet all over. Any one who saw me would think its ok or jus simply ignore me. I just wonder what made that guy to bother to offer me tissue paper. Everyone was just standing around, watching and waiting for the road drama to be over and then head on their way. Would anyone bother to see who was standing beside him and see whether he needs help? But I guess he is one of those helpful ones who don't mind lending a hand when he sees one.

Thank you Stranger!

3 Sept 2008 9:55pm

Memory Lane at Suntec

Time really flies......its been a year since last year's convocation and here I am again playing for the ceremony. I was at Suntec City since 9am this morning for our performance. The band has been busy with rehearsals for today's convocation for the past week. Although we were at our top form for the competition last month, there will be days when you are at your lows. The performances went well during the past few rehearsals, including last night. However, there were a few hiccups during the actual event but such things do happen. I must commend all my band members for the great work they have put in. It is people like you guys that made me love this band. Even though I am feeling tired, the band kept me going....in a way......apologies to the trombone section for the slight mess up in the solo which our conductor made me took over. :(

A lot of things went through my mind during convocation as the band waited for its turn to play. While the program was proceeding, I was feeling disappointed that our opening piece (El Camino Real) did not shine. There were other things that made me unhappy as well but I will not say it here. But the good thing was we spotted a few potential members among the freshmen. The whole afternoon was nolstagic to me.....bringing back memories of my convocation during my freshmen year. There was this guy who was one of the performers and he really looks like a friend of mine. I asked several of my friends about this guy and then realised its not my friend whom at first I thought he was.

(by the way, in my university, convocation is a ceremony that marks the beginning of an academic year and to welcome the batch of freshmen into the university and is not the graduation ceremony that most unis call it. Our graduation is called commencement instead.)

After the ceremony was over, the band packed up and eli, sy, ms and I went downstairs to the Tangs bazaar sale to have a look but we didn't get anything. None of the perfumes on sale was Kenzo Flower :(. We went back up to grab our stuff and I went back to school with them. I had dinner with ed and gang and then went home with sy. Sy was really tired so we decided to take the train at Marina Bay. But our resting feet were interrupted when the train had to terminate at Dolby Ghaut due to a fault and we had to stand throughout the entire journey as the next train was damn crowded. So much for our attempt to get a seat on our way home.....:(

Counting down to my last day at the hellhole. Looking forward to my new job but there is something that is still bothering me.....

Really tired.....

16 Aug 2008 10:28pm

Oink and riberty-rib!

It was a pretty normal National Day. I organized a dinner with suz and gang where we had steamboat at Shaw Tower. As we were about to finish eating, there were sounds of fireworks coming from outside. Excited, we went out and managed to catch glimpse of the fireworks over the parade happening at the Marina Floating Bay. A lot of passer-bys were standing at the zebra crossing outside the steamboat restaurant just to watch the fireworks. Kev called zz from overseas and I got to talk to him over the phone and wished him good luck for an upcoming audition. (Good Luck Kev! You can do it!) After settling the bill, we went over to TCC for coffee and then to the new Minds Café at Purvis Street. It was really noisy there and for first-timers like Ljun, he found it difficult to be heard. We stayed for a few hours. It was really fun playing those exciting games especially with suz around. We played this animal sound game where we have to call out the other party’s animal sound where two of the same cards appear on the table. To win the game, you must get rid of your stack of cards first. It was hilarious as we thought of difficult animal sounds to make and trying to remember each other’s animals. And we also played this “Ugly” card game where we got our hands red from slapping on the table and a vampire memory game. Maybe I should organize the next gathering there.

Yesterday was suppose to be my usual “nua”(slacking) Sunday but there was convocation rehearsal in school in the evening and I had to drag myself there. Both ms and I actually contemplated not to turn up..haha! I was quite tired as I got home very late the night before and hit the gym in the morning. During the midst of rehearsal, ms told me she felt like she didn’t achieve much in her first year. I told her its only her freshman year and its ok to figure things out first to have a better idea and then decide what challenges to embark. Actually, I also have the same thought. I don’t seem to have achieved much for the past few years, especially in my career. Besides being active in band during school, I don’t have other credentials to boast in my resume. So for the next step that I am going to take, I will really pull up my socks and work hard.

Lately I started having thoughts of spending the rest of my life alone. I mean not being able to meet anyone and settle down. Living the single life. Growing old alone….kind of scary isn’t it? I mean I will really be alone when my parents are no longer around and I’m sure my brother will get married and start his own family. I remember commenting to my girlfriends that I might probably be their children’s godmother since I might not meet the right person anyway. I wonder which is scarier: Growing old alone or dying alone?

I am finally leaving this hellhole. Yup, I have handed in my resignation.

12 Aug 2008 12:37am

In doubt......

Band practice on friday didn't end that well. My conductor lost his temper at one of our sections for not practising their parts for the coming competition. He kept harping on the issue of commitment. Why is it that people could not keep their word when they have promised to take part in the competition and not work towards it? If they can't commit themselves to come for practices, then they should not have agreed to play in the first place. He felt that that a lot of people nowadays seem to lack the level of commitment when they have made a promise to do something. In all my years of playing in a concert band when I was a student and now as a full-time employee in the working world, I would say its all about choices. It is whether you choose to put in the time and effort. You choose what you are passionate about based on your interest. You choose your priorities, the things that are important to you.

My conductor mentioned before that the young generation of today aspires to be everything. They want to try everything and do everything to succeed in life. Maybe that is why we choose band, work and other things at the same time thinking we can balance them all but in the end, we failed. I guess my conductor failed to understand that sometimes it is not just about a lack of commitment. There are many factors that cause our failure to achieve results on tasks or things that we want to do or promised to deliver. It can be stress from work, lack of motivation, lack of resources or uncertainties on how to perform. I think the section just lacked the motivation to perform and not because they don't have the commitment.

Studies and work are of top priority to us because we depend on them for a living. As many of us are working and serving internships now, we have less time for practice. And when you compare the level of importance, it is definitely work. However, if there is motivation then everyone will be pushed and encouraged to put in some time for practice. To me, playing in the band is my interest and it is the interest that is motivating me to perform but realistically speaking, I have to put my career at the top of my list as I cannot survive without it. If the time comes and I have to choose, then it is with a heavy heart that I have to leave the band.

Went to Ikea yesterday to get a new table for my computer at just $50! haha....Ljun went with me. The store was filled with the weekend crowd but I got to taste those delicious swedish meatballs for dinners. : ) It is during such weekend shopping that you see the ugly side of singaporeans on their inconsiderate behaviours. Like when Ljun and I were waiting in the taxi queue, the family in front of us just left their empty trolley in the queue when they got on the cab and another couple in front of us was kind in pushing the trolley to one side and passed it to an Ikea staff who was there to collect empty trolleys. Also, that inconsiderate family's baby toddler was roaming around, came to our trolley and grabbed my stuff. The mum quickly put it back but didn't say a word of apology. So terrible! I am not against anyone but I wonder why I always see this behaviour from this particular group of people. And this just makes me dislike them and I never wanted to dislike them. Another pet peeves that pisses me off is why some parents don't apologised for their young children's rowdy or rude bahaviour in public. Do they think that just because they are children, their inappropriate behaviour can be easily dismissed? Seriously, some people are not good parents and should not be parents.

We managed to catch a movie before heading to Ikea. Wanted was so-so to me but the visual effects and action scenes are great! The movie gave a reflection point that we have no right to decide who lives and who dies in our world just by going on fate. If that is the case, do we have a right to sentence criminals to death penalty for the grave crimes that they commit?

A major decision ahead to decide.......

29 June 2008 10:56pm

The heat is on..

I'm starting to feel the heat...
I need to get my act together in 3 weeks' time. My conductor said I know my notes well but I need to perform my solo rather than just play it. My friend said I sounded good and just need to have vibratio in the high notes of that 4-bar phrase. I wonder if I can get it in three weeks time. After practice ended, I was talking to ms and my conductor walked over, telling me to "sing" for my solo. stress.....: (

My colleague invited me to her friends' BBQ gathering yesterday. It was at a condominium so my colleague and I had a swim when we got there. (And we went for another dip after eating too full...haha).Her friends are all in their late thirties, married with children. They are all friendly people and I think its great they have such gatherings to catch up and even brought their kids along. Although my colleague kept me company, I somewhat felt a bit wierd as I am of a slightly different group from them. I am single, not married and definitely no kids. As some of their conversations revolved around their children, I could only listen. And they converse mostly in hokkien. I can't speak the dialect that fluent and only understand a fair bit of it but I managed to catch what they were saying. It was funny seeing how they joke with each other, especially when one of my colleague's friend got drunk. On the whole, it was an enjoyable evening.

I wonder what the new week will bring...I hope its good

22 June 2008 8:54pm

A Walking Agony

My knees are in excruciating pain now. I went for Passion Run this morning at East Coast, running the 10km with my friends. Woke up really early and met pat at ang mo kio with yh for a ride. It started out ok but the pain came just after 3km and I bear the pain till almost the end , at the 9km mark and I walked as it was unbearable....I wonder if I can walk tomorrow....

Friday's practice was not bad as Tim took us for el camino real and a few other pieces. Josh didn't have to do a lot of conducting that night. There was this irritating sound coming from my instrument whenever I hit the high notes. Spent some time after practice to clean it but the metallic sound is still there....arrgh....

Watched Sex and the City with shA after practice. It was quite nice and several parts hit a note with me. Like how Big never wrote any love letters to carrie before. When he was trying to reach her at the end, he emailed her love letters from a book (Love Letters from Great Men) and in the end when he wrote one, its was just a sentence. Reminded me of the only love letter I got from an ex who is never good at writing love letters and is not the sort to send one. But during the period when I was away on a trip, he missed me and emailed me a love letter. It was sweet and sincere. This is one of those happy memories that people will keep in their heart and smile when they thought of it, even if the person is not around anymore. The friendship and support between carrie, charlotte, miranda and samantha are like what I have from from my friends who got me to where I am today and I'm grateful for it. Relationships are difficult, no matter how much you love each other. But I'm not discouraged. I am looking forward : )

My boss has not been helpful these days. She doesn't seem to do much work at all since she pushes everything to us. On Friday, I sent out an email to my vendor on the editing required for a newsletter. When she saw the email, she came out and start talking on some additional information that she wants in the newsletter which I did not receive from the relevant dept. My boss has this bad habit of telling us verbally the things she wants without much details or with no clear direction and then expects us to understand it and do it and feels that she has fufilled her responsibility of informing us. I really hate it. I was checking furiously through my inbox clearing the tons of emails that she sent as she stood there blabbering about the things she wants in the newsletter. Feeling extremely fed-up, I just shot back at her without looking up that I need these information in written form as I won't be able to remember everything she said. Think she sensed that I was irritated with her and told me to refer to the past press releases. She always tell us to refer to last year's archive and "do as per last year or previously". One of her favourite phrases....

Another long week ahead....I need a break..
8 June 2008 7:43pm

Am I too involved?

Its been a pretty standard week. Work and rehearsals on tueday and friday. Went running on monday and wednesday. Had to work late on thurday and the week just went by like that....

I took the morning off on friday and came back slightly past noon time. The day before, my boss told me to help j with all her circulations when I come back. Which means the entire dept has to to stop work and help j to photocopy the publicity clippings and file the clippings into another file before circulating to all the depts. I couldn't do my work. Its her fault for not looking through the files earlier and caused the long delay. Yet she told us the circulation is long overdue and we must quickly send it out. She just doesn't realise her fault for not approving the files earlier (since Oct last year...the publicity files were ready on time every month for her to check and approve but she kept procrastinating and gave excuses that she is very busy). Oh well, that's the way she is, always in denial and never sees her own flaws.

I was late for practice as I got held up in the office (my boss called me back just as I stepped out of the office to program some things on the computer for a recording. She just forwarded an email to us, expecting us to remember the date and time to record the program but with the hundreds of emails she sends us, I feel that its only right that she help to remind us about it and not take it for granted that we will do it. There are too many things to do for her. sigh....No leadership and emphasis on teamwork from her).

Josh took full band practice today as my conductor went overseas. Tim Reynish, a well-known conductor, will be coming next week to conduct us for two rehearsals! So looking forward to it. So Josh went through John Williams march and told us to play as accurately as possible as Tim doesn't work on technical stuff. During practice, MS asked whether I recorded all original music scores that the band bought when I was managing the library during my exco. I did that and was surprised to learn that they have not been updating the file ever since I handed over the library. When it got to MS, it was already a mess. I was disappointed that the previous excos didn't manage the library properly. Sigh...my hard work went down the drain....Anway, I told MS if she needed help with the library, I will help her. Also reminded ed the importance of managing the library.

After practice, we went for tau huay and I thought we will be heading home after that. But the rest wanted to do something and we ended up at Cathay. I was contemplating whether to go home (actually, the last train already left..) as I was tired. Before I knew it, they already bought tickets for Indiana Jones. The movie is not bad but doesn't seem to have any meaning to it. The main theme sounded great and we wish we will sound like that for the competition....haha..... I was yawning the whole time during the movie but I managed to stay awake.

Yesterday was another movie day with yh, 3sa and yx. We watched Prince Caspian and I like it!The ending was sad as the fpur Pevensie children left Narnia, not knowing when they will return and for some of them, not returning at all. The part where Peter lead the Narnians to attack Miraz's castle showed us the importance of not being selfish. Being high king, he feels that it is his duty to protect the Narnians and he is the only one who should do it and he did it for himself only, without a thought for everyone. He got big-headed. In the end, they lost the fight and many of their fellow people's lives. Sometimes when we are in a favourable position, it gets into our head and we lose sight of what is really in front of us and what are the things that we should do. We should never do it just for ourselves but for everyone and for the team. Never look good just for yourself.

yh and I met ed after the movie to collect out number tags and time chip for next week's Passion Run. We bumped into kel and ron at Novena Square and catched up with them for a while. Been a long time since I saw kel. AI is still going on but member strength is falling. Lots of fun memories when I played with them last time but many of us have left. I only have time for symphonia now. A few of them like Kel are still holding up the band. We wanted to have dinner but only ate a bit. yh, ed and I talked about symphonia (think we bored yh.....sorry gal!). Think ed is getting stress over sym. Hope things will work for you and your exco. Its never easy to manage a band. Then I met B after that for a drink and we chatted till coffee bean closed. Its fun to talk to him. He is someone who enjoys first and deal with the consequences later. Can learn a few life lessons from this guy...haha..: )

Leave you a song "The Call" by Regina Spektor, very meaningful....(ost: The Chronicles of Narnia - Prince Caspian)

1 June 2008 8:54pm

Time can change everything?

My friend der had free tickets to Harlem Yu's concert on saturday and invited us to attend. Jy, zz, xh and myself went. The concert was entertaining although I felt that something was lacking. Harlem included some humour and fun into the concert with audience participation and making fun of his band mates. Felt a bit like Super Sunday show.

I have known this group of poly band friends for a long time and I often miss the days we had back in poly. The time we spent together during practices bonded us. There was once we practiced outside foodcourt 3 and my conductor, tt, took us for symphonic overture. Our ending part drew the attention of some passer-bys and they actually stopped in their path to listen to us and applauded our rousing end. I love it when people like the sound that my band have practiced hard for. My clicks was a large group and we always head to clementi central after band practice to have supper and to chat and gossip at the coffee shop next to the bus interchange. I miss the outings we had like supper at geylang (Teowchew Muay and Tau Huay...the empty bowls of porridge will be stacked high on the table), movie gatherings, concerts, performances, christmas and CNY gatherings, band camps, overseas band trips (how I miss Sydney!) and the endless banter of jokes and conversations.....sigh...but as time goes by, everybody just drift apart as each of us got busy and involved in other things. Some of them went overseas to study and the rest of us are just busy with work and other stuff. Among us, I am of the few who is still playing. Lately I feel that my group has fewer meet ups with each other and we talk less. Our group has dwindled over the years but this is not unexpected. I wonder if we are still as close as before but I guess we probably know each other well enough that we don't need much updating or chats to know what is going on in each others' lives. At the very least, I still care about them and appreciate the little things that we do for each other. I do hope I can visit teow and wl in melbourne with jy and zz next month..haha....

It was peaceful today...boss was on leave...

26 May 2008 9:57am

Uneventful Weekend

It was the start of a long weekend...but not before a crappy day at work again on friday....

My office engaged a professional photographer on Friday to shoot some interior shots for use in our branding campaign. Its a full-day shoot and I was supposed to meet the photographer at 9am to start the shoot. As expected, my boss called at 9am and asked me to attend the morning meeting on her behalf. : S I was irritated and told her I have to meet the photographer. And then she said my colleague, Ag can meet the photographer but she had to attend to another matter that morning as well and someone has to be at the office. If I attend the meeting, Ag goes to attend her matter and J stays in the office, who will meet the photographer? My boss said its ok that I attend the meeting since its only 15 mins and Ag will meet the photographer. J had to settle the matter for Ag so there was no one in the office. And my boss should not be late that morning, knowing there is a photoshoot that day and should have come on time but created inconvenience for everyone. When the photoshoot was going on, she didn't bother to be on site to approve the shots and my other colleague had to run up and down to get approval from her director as her sales & marketing department requested to have the professional shots. My S&M director asked why my boss is not working, seeing that she is not helping to approve the shots at all. I think she will give my boss a good scolding pretty soon. She is the only one in the whole office who understands that my department do not have any directions at all due to our lazy boss. sigh.....Besides taking turns attending to the photoshoot, my boss wanted me to help J with her publicity and I couldn't do my work at all! Its my boss's fault that the publicity circulation was late....becaaue she only checked the files from Oct 07 to Apr 08 till now. I can't believe it has been so backdated......

After band practice on friday, sy, eil, ms and I went to mel's place to play mahjong. While we ate supper at his place, we watched the 2nd half of our concert dvd recording. Mel was telling us how he forgot to take his el camino real score after the lidss performance and actually slipped backstage to find the score when the slow movement of el camino real was playing. And so we saw him in the recording, walking nonchalantly to the backstage and reappeared a while later, holding the file in his hand and trying to hide it as he walked back to his snare drum. Haha.....I didn't know this was happening. Heard my solo and felt it was not as good as I thought it was. Must be better for the competition...We played only one round of mahjong and finished at 4am! My luck wasn't good that night and I lost a bit. Mel actually won money from us girls this time...

eil mentioned this is her last friday in singapore as she is leaving for an internship overseas soon which she only just received the offer and was not mentally prepared. Good luck eil! I hope everything goes well for you!

I reached home at about 4:30am...really tired and slept for a few hours only. I woke up early to meet xl for a swim and so I was stoning as I made my way to meet her. I didn't swim very much as the pool was a bit crowded with the morning kids swimming lesson . Think I have not swim for too long and was feeling a bit scared. I'm not a good swimmer so I kept to the side. Chatted a lot with xl as we baked in the sun. We saw this hunk with six-pack abs conducting life-saving session with a group of guys and his actions were pretty show-offish. He looked a bit like an ex of mine from my poly...reminded me of someone...

During the wee hours of sat night, I was woken up by my ringing phone. It was a private number and I ignored it and it rang again. I answered it, half asleep, and it was my friend who got really upset after a phone call with his ex as the girl has moved on with another guy. I was thinking whether it is his fault because he chose to break up with his ex even though he still loves her. Also, its been a long time since they broke up....Anway, I will talk to him on another day as he was in Malaysia when he called....

Went to the gym as usual on sunday morning and then met Lj in the evening to watch Accuracy of Death. Takeshi Kaneshiro is so damn gorgeous! Its a nice movie to watch and funny as well. Giving a person one more chance to live can bring about unexpected changes which could lead to a fruitful life. Who knows that "suspending" the death of a young woman would lead Chiba (Takeshi) to judge her again when she became a 70 years old woman and she was ready to die at that point, having lived a full life. And I think Chiba was also glad that he finally got to see clear blue sky. I am waiting to see my clear blue sky as well.....:)

Lj and I had coffee after the movie and I told him about the late night call from my friend. He said guys actually take a longer time to get over relationships although they do not seem to feel much pain from the breakup. Whereas girls feel the pain at their greatest when the relationship is over but takes a shorter time to get over it. That was new to me and I wasn't so sure if this is true but I guess everyone takes a different amount of time to get over relationships. Some just recover faster than others.....

Music is Humanity's Greatest Invention....(as quoted by Chiba)
19 May 2008 5:32pm

Yummy Cakes...

I was reminded of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when I was watching Speed Racer on sat because I find it so colourful like the former. The storyline is alright but the visual effects were stunning. Sharp, rich in colours and the races were exciting! Rain makes a rather good debut in his first hollywood feature in English. But I didn't catch the movie because of him, more of for the effects. Caught the movie with CH and its been like 2 years since we last met up. He's into coral collection lately and also changed a new job a few months back. We promise to meet up again after he returnsrom a business trip. I envy that he gets to travel in his job.

I was so tired during band practice yesterday. By the time I reached school, I was like really sleepy and yawning throughout the warm-up session. Didn't get enough sleep the previous night. Luckily it wasn't full band with my conductor. Jo came to take us for sectional practice. I was still very frustrated with the john williams march, certain parts sounded terrible with all the mispitched notes.....sigh...hopefully friday's practice will be better.

My colleagues and I wanted to celebrate j's birthday yesterday with a lunch at NYDC but it went pretty quiet and unknown because we didn't get her a cake. The cakes at NYDC were too big for us to finish. Instead, ld ordered a lychee martini cake from Pine Garden(Blk 529 Ang Mo Kio Ave 19 #01-2369 Tel: 64576159 http://www.pgcake.com/) in Ang Mo Kio and arranged for uncle to collect for us today. We gathered in the boardroom, lit the candles and turned off the lights. Then ld called my boss to bring j in but she took quite a few minutes to bring her in and we were wondering why my boss took so long (but its not unusual anyway, she is late in everything). So my boss finally entered the room with j and we surprised her with a birthday song : ). The cake is heavenly : ) Tasted a lot of cakes today....feeling a bit sick now.

Happy 21st Birthday J!

tired from a run.....
14 May 2008 9.39pm