I was disappointed with him. So what is wrong with me? Why do I always meet the wrong guy? What is missing inside me?
I guess I was feeling empty inside. I am trying to find something to fill up the void and to do that I need someone who loves me and I can love back. Instead, my gf told me I need to believe in a faith to fill up my void first. Never search for a life partner. He will come to you when the time is right. My gf told me that we will never marry the guy that we like but with someone whom we are meant to be with. So she advised me to stop meeting the wrong guys and start realizing what I am doing to myself. I should know more people, get occupied with things that I like to do and stop doing things that will hurt me.
But I’m really not sure….Right now I still enjoy playing in band but lately, I have been feeling lethargic, like I have been doing this for too long and somehow I am not getting any satisfaction from it. The thought of quitting came to my mind. Sometimes I feel alone even though I am with my bandmates playing and having fun. Being one of the few alumni there, there is definitely a gap between me and the rest as they are still university students. Usual conversation that clouds the air are often school stuff, projects, professors which I am in a “been there, done that” stage and what I can only do is offer them advice if they need any. Other than that, I can’t talk much about current school affairs with them. Although when they ask me for working advice, I was more than glad to offer my two-cents worth.
I could probably start believing a bit more in my faith. I’m a Buddhist but I’m just following along as my family is Buddhist. I don’t know much about Buddhist beliefs or teachings but I guess I can find out.
I guess I was feeling empty inside. I am trying to find something to fill up the void and to do that I need someone who loves me and I can love back. Instead, my gf told me I need to believe in a faith to fill up my void first. Never search for a life partner. He will come to you when the time is right. My gf told me that we will never marry the guy that we like but with someone whom we are meant to be with. So she advised me to stop meeting the wrong guys and start realizing what I am doing to myself. I should know more people, get occupied with things that I like to do and stop doing things that will hurt me.
But I’m really not sure….Right now I still enjoy playing in band but lately, I have been feeling lethargic, like I have been doing this for too long and somehow I am not getting any satisfaction from it. The thought of quitting came to my mind. Sometimes I feel alone even though I am with my bandmates playing and having fun. Being one of the few alumni there, there is definitely a gap between me and the rest as they are still university students. Usual conversation that clouds the air are often school stuff, projects, professors which I am in a “been there, done that” stage and what I can only do is offer them advice if they need any. Other than that, I can’t talk much about current school affairs with them. Although when they ask me for working advice, I was more than glad to offer my two-cents worth.
I could probably start believing a bit more in my faith. I’m a Buddhist but I’m just following along as my family is Buddhist. I don’t know much about Buddhist beliefs or teachings but I guess I can find out.
Since I got a new job, I will focus on my career first and work hard to prove myself. This shall be my first step into filling up the void. Staying at my current place will only make me stagnant as I am not learning anything or improving my skills at all. Moreoever, my boss sucks big time!
Counting down.......I will miss my colleagues.....14 Aug 2008 10:53pm
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