Its one of those peaceful days where my boss is not in.......
I was reading this week's issue of 8 Days and I came across my horoscope of the week.
"This is not an easy moment for all you delicate souls, but faith in the future will now definitely see you through. In fact , a few confident actions will impress other people and might even inspire someone to make you a bold offer."
Notice that the writer used the word "delicate" to describe us. Yes, I do think I am delicate and fragile at times, easily hurt and breakable. Anyway, the horoscope prediction is somewhat co-related to the happenings at the office today. I am already losing faith in my job, in my career as I do not see a light at the end of the tunnel. My colleagues and I gathered together to discuss a work task which she forwarded us to do. She told us to discuss the points together as a team (excluding her as usual......) and then collate it and pass it to her. My next-door colleague heard about this task that we are discussing and told us to forward her the email. When she saw the email, she told us that all head of departments are supposed to do this assignment themselves but of course have to sit down and discuss with the asst head of dept and rest of the team. However, the email that my boss forwarded to us instructed us to DO the task instead. And all these while we didn't know that HODs are supposed to lead in this task. My colleagues and I were actually clueless as to how to perform this assignment and thought we could manage but after reading through the email, we really do not know what the concept is about and my boss did not give us the additional info she promised to help us in it. I come to think that I am either naive to believe my boss that we can do it or just plain blur to not realise that she is discreetly pushing the responsibility to us. I should have known its the latter!! I was quite pissed off with my boss and this incident (and many others...) just further lowered my morale in this job. Am I going to suffer under my boss and continue to clean up all her crap and nagging and do all her work and at the end of the day, I still do not know what I have accomplished at all?? Lately, I think I am not quick-witted enough to realise some of the politics, hidden agendas or unobvious body languages that are going on in this office. And that's where I am left behind....sigh...I only feel more and more discouraged as the days go by...But after seeing that horoscope prediction, should I just keep on carrying my faith or hopes for the future and pounce once I see the light-bulb moment?
I seem to be getting wierd stares from passer-bys these days when I am out in the streets. I'm not sure if its me but I'm sure they were looking at my face. People at the office have been asking me about my acne, whether i have seen a doc. Its really depressing. When I was out with Ljun last friday, I can feel those passing eyes lingering a little longer on me and it gave me a feeling as if I am some freak. sigh......guess I will not go out that often until my face gets better. It does look bad now....: ( and worse, my face itches with all those medication....
Its only Monday...hang on.....24 Mar 2008 9:36pm
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