first death

I had my first encounter with death this weekend. My pet dog of 13 years passed on. During his last hours, even though he was weak, he still tried to stand up and walk, probably to show us he is here one last time and also to be close to my mum. I remember the look in his eyes as he struggled before I left house. He knew I was there. I was checking on him to see if he needed water but I really didn't know what to do. Only when I was out that my brother told me he is not doing well. He took my dog back to a hospital and we got news this morning that he has passed away. In a way it was some relief as I did not want to see him suffer. It was really painful and I couldn't face it. I didn't accompany them to collect his body because I really couldn't take it. I went to the gym instead. Really sad but I am glad he is not suffering and is not in pain anymore.

I realised that maybe I am not strong enough to face such adversity. Age did not give me enough strength and wisdom. Win, my symphonia friend, who is years younger than me actually consoled me, told me that I should be glad he lived such a long life. Sean smsed me a hug and sy sms me 5.30 in the morning to tell me to cheer up. These little gestures meant so much to me when I was feeling down. Thanks guys...

24 May 2009, 9.47pm