Unexpected Surprise!!

Woke up early yesterday morning and went for a run. When I came back, I got a sms from yh saying that she can't attend the interview as she need to finish up her work. I told Suz I didn't mind going with her if she wants to and she said might as well go for the experience. You never know.......

When we got there, there was a long queue for all candidates to take their height measurement. A staff member went along the line to check that application forms are duly filled up. When she saw that my height was 1cm below requirement, she told me that I will be turned away. So I told her just let me take the measurement first. Surprisingly, the lady didn't say anything when she took my height and I just proceed to the ballroom after being able to reach the red mark on the wall. Suz and I waited for three hours just to go into a room and introduce ourselves briefly and say why we want to join the company. Well, I wasn't selected (although I was not interested, I did kind of expect I could at least pass the first round after waiting that long....at least shows that I did possess some traits to be one of them....) but suz got through to the second round. As it seems she could take some time, suz told me to meet up with the others first. I was really tired and stopped at starbucks for a much needed caffeine break!

While having my coffee, I read the sunday times and there was an interesting article about Singapore women expecting too much from men. According to a survey by the Social Development Service, the women who were surveyed expect the men to pay for their dates, send them home safely afterwards, open car doors and even carry their bags! I thought the carrying bag part is ridiculous. I will never want my man to carry my bag because it makes them look bloody stupid and awful. I'm sure I speak for many women out there....wondered who exactly they interviewed for this survey.....But I agree that in this modern day cosmopolitan soceity, many independant and career-minded women still want the man to wear the pants in the relationship. I know I am one.....

Yh, ed and YA arrived soon after I read the article and suz came just in time for the movie. We went to watch Juno, a comedy about a teen high school girl, Juno, who got pregnant and found a rich couple to adopt her baby. She matured during the entire nine months while having the baby, realising she is in love with the father of her child and they did get together in the end. Although the rich couple spilt up, Juno still gave her baby to the wife, knowing she will be a great mum. There was a scene in the movie where Juno got home after visiting the rich couple and learnt that they are getting a divorce. Feeling down, she asked her dad whether it is possible that two people can stay together forever. Her dad replied that its not easy. He said "Find someone who loves you just the way you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty......". Those words ring loud inside me....it made me realized it again. Anyway, its a funny and heartwarming movie and the scene where Juno's parents heard from her that she is pregnant was really unexpected and hilarious. I think they are more receptive to teen pregnancy in the US although they don't absolutely think its ok. In Singapore, I think our society will take at least a few generations to accept teen pregnancy and single mothers. On saturday, I saw a chinese talking point program on channel U and Maia Lee was a guest speaker. The issue is about single mothers in Singapore. So Maia said she wanted to keep her baby at that time because she wants to love her son whole heartedly, by herself. She does not want to be with the father of her son and do not expect her boyfriend at that time to take responsibility. She has always wanted to be a mum since she was 12! Quite unbelieveable. Some of the other judge speakers commented that she is immature to think in this way and were not totally supportive of her views. But to me, I think she is a strong women who did not mind how other people think of her. She is brave and responsible to raise her son on her own. However, I wouldn't recommend such a way to have a family. I still believe in a complete family with both mum and dad.

After the show, we shopped around for a while and YA suddenly had to make a move first. i thought it was wierd and was suspecting something was going on. Anyway, I bought a nice pair of heels. :) Yh suggested going to Fish & Co for dinner and I was fine with it so we headed over. As we entered the restaurant, i was expecting to see YA waiting at a table for us but I couldn't see him. I followed suz to the back of the restaurant and saw everyone seated at the long table. I was like *stunned* for a moment and started laughing as Kel said to me "hey, wat a coincidence!" Suz was so sweet to plan this surprice for me by gathering everyone for a dinner. I was so touched and I didn't know what to say. Elated to see everyone there! Almost everyone had the seafood platter for 2. We had fun chatting while eating dinner. There was a feeling of nostalgia as it has been a long time since we had a birthday gathering like this. I remember during my poly band days, we often had such birthday gatherings to celebrate someone's birthday. Its quite scary to celebrate your birthday at Fish & Co cos they make you stand on the chair as everyone sings you a birthday song and then requires you to blow out the candles, still standing on the chair and the cake is on the table.....well it was funny also as they made me wear a green goblin-looking cap. i know Der enjoyed seeing me with the cap :S and was laughing away.....Then came the moment where suz presented me with the present from everyone. And I was so shocked when I saw it. A lovely Sovil Titus Watch!! Exactly something that I had in mind......she actually remembered what I mentioned to her during one of our msn conversation a few days ago.....that i felt like getting a watch.....I couldn't even remember the exact things we said....my goodness!!Super super touch!! I could only thanked everyone for the enjoyable evening by treating them to drinks at TCC after the meal. Kev only came while we were having drinks but I was still glad to see him. Took photos with everyone! Zz bought me a Tommy Girl perfume. Love it! This perfume actually brought back some special memories back in poly. (Sidetrack a bit, an ex bf back in poly bought me this same perfume for christmas. I remembered he lost his wallet that day after buying the perfume and was so lost. He paged me several times and left several messages but I didn't know as I was working at a cafe (waitress) until at knock-off time, I saw my pager and realised what happened to him. He still wanted to pass me the perfume even though he had no money to take transport to my place. I called him that night, feeling bad that I wasn't there for him when he lost his wallet. He gave me the perfume the next day or something....) As we bade goodbye, I said a heartfelt thanks to everyone and told suz that I appreciate her effort in organising this birthday dinner and I felt her intention for all this. Suz, I promise you I will be ok!
3sa's bf, Eug drove me, yh and yx home. Tired after a long but happy day.......

It was a wonderful day....Thank you Suz, YA, Yh, Ed, Yx, Kel, 3sa, Eug, Jy, der, Zz, Kev and Jun!

25 Feb 2008 9.25pm

Being Selfless

Lj suddenly sme me on Monday, asking whether I want to catch this movie called "Away from Her" with him. He seldom asks me for movies so I thought why not.....the movie must be something to have caught his interest.

The movie is about a elderly couple (fiona and grant) who have been happily married for 44 years until the wife (fiona) suffered from Alzheimer's disease and to admit to a nursing home. She slowly loses her memory of her husband and fell in love with another patient (aubrey) at the home. There were several sad moments in the movie especially when Grant realised that Fiona likes someone else instead and couldn't remember much of their relationship. It was very hard for him to accept. Then aubrey's wife got him out of the nursing home to stay home instead and Fiona became very depressed as she couldn't see aubrey. Seeing Fiona deteriorating, Grant actually went to look for Aubrey's wife to persuade her to bring Aubrey back to the nursing home so that Fiona can see him. Grant rather see Fiona happy with Aubrey than to see her condition worsen. It was really selfless of Grant to do that. There was a scene where a nurse at the home asked Grant whether he rather be the one who stays at the home or the one who leaves the home. That is, whether he would choose to be inflicted with the disease or be the love one seeing the inflcited partner slowly going away......its sad but either choice will still be as painful. I'm not sure which role I would choose but for me, it is unbearable to see the one I love to forget what we once had before.....

Yesterday I went to my financial planner's company for their career seminar talk. Nope, don't think I will ever go into this line. But as my planner seemed sincere to invite me, I just went there to listen. Sometimes, I don't understand why they choose this line which does not gurantee a stable income every month but they seem really happy with what they are doing. The emcee mentioned a phrase from Confucius that say something like "Find a job that you love and you will not need to work a single day". How true..I am still trying hard to find the job that I love......

Met wj for a while after the seminar. He has been in low spirits lately so I was trying to talk to him to move on and do some things for himself. My friend, please pick yourself up. You should concentrate on your studies now and improve your well-being. Cheer up! :)

Work is so boring these days....Have a good mid-week......

20 Feb 2008 9.46pm

A peace of mind.......

My mum found out at the temple that this year of the Rat is a "fan tai sui" for me. Basically "Fan Tai Sui" refers to an opposition to the Deity of the Year. So happened that my chinese zodiac sign, the Rooster, is one of the few chinese zodiac signs that will face significant changes this year, be it good or bad things. To myself a peace of mind, I went to pray at the temple. My mum accompanied me, gave them my chinese name, date and time of birth and address. I kneeled down and offered some joss sticks as a temple staff recite some sayings in front of the deity. After the reciting, he told me to stand up, tap on my head with a stack of incense papers. Then I proceeded to put joss sticks into the golden bowl, placed a red packet on the tray and then went to burn the incense papers. Some of you might think I am being superstitious. But things have not been going well for me lately so I decided to be safe. It gives me a peace of mind anyway...

Went to Orchard yesterday to collect my jeans and then met wj for coffee at raffles city. It was really relaxing sitting outside spinelli, watching people go by as I sip my coffee. After that, ed and Ay came to meet me and we went to downtown east. Mel's sis was celebrating her 21st birthday and has booked a chalet. Downtown East has changed a lot. Its been a long time since I last went there. Remember the last time I was there was during uni year 1. My classmates and I booked a chalet at Aranda Country Club. Mel invited us down even though we do not know her sis that well but she was pretty cool with it. As it was last minute, we gave a red packet instead, not knowing what she likes. Kind of wierd......There was myself, Ay, ed, kr and jos. sy came rather late. We were playing lame games like around the world, mrt, the handphone game which I didn't get it at all till they finally show me what the whole game meant. Really lame and funny! Not sure what it was, but my face started to itch after the drinking and eating of some prawns. I dismiss it as being allergic to the prawns as I am not. My pimple breakout is still there and did not go down. I really wish I don't need to see my doctor.....

Another start of a new week.....

17 Feb 2008 10.06pm

Looking back.....

I came across my horoscope prediction in this week's issue of 8 Days (14 Feb 2008):

"Take your pick between getting married, transforming your home or leading a revolution at work. Our best days for love and pure uninhibited emotion could be Thursday and Friday, when someone new might come into your life, or you see an old friend with fresh eyes."

Well, the first three did not happen, but I did see an old friend today whom I have not seen for a long time. I went to kev's recital today and saw Ame. It was good to see him. He actually left for Austria last year to study music there. I couldn't remember the name of his university. Anyway he's back for the chinese new year holidays and will be leaving next week. He still looks the same, nothing much has changed about him. The memories....

Kev's recital was not bad and he played pretty well. He appreciated our presence there. After the recital, we left for dinner at victoria hawker centre. Don't know why but I felt pretty tired during the performance and went home after dinner. Everyone seemed lethargic.

I met lyn and ris for lunch today. It was nice to see them....I pretty miss my old job. lyn looks fresh and she is going back to work soon. She just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy last dec. ris is still the same, busy as usual. As we were about to leave, she gave me and lyn a red packet! So unexpected and I didn't have mandarin oranges with me to wish her happy new year! She told me the red packet is a token to wish me good luck in my career and find a nice boyfriend soon! So sweet of her......:) I wonder how things would have turn out if I didn't leave my ex company. I will still be able to hold the same conversation with them. Well, I already made the choice and should not turn back. But I will always look out for better opportunities.

Things at the office are quite slow this week with nothing major happening but I think next week onwards might get a bit busy as I need to start writing on the next newsletter. Ag suggested we do the new issue ourselves and my boss is fine with it. We are going to revamp the newsletter!

Watched Jumper yesterday with wj. Its not as nice as expected which I thought it is from the trailer. The storyline happens rather fast without much development of the characters themselves. No harm waiting for the dvd release for those of you who intend to watch it on the big screen.

It was a normal Valentines' Day for me. Just a simple dinner and movie and somehow I started to recall what I was doing on V Day last year. I remember I was at the gym on Valentine's Day last year and a personal trainer tried to psycho me to purchase a fitness program with him, pleading that if he don't close a deal that day, he will lose his job. I thought that was rather unpleasant as he tried to make his problem seemed like mine. Anyway, I didn't sign up for the deal. He resigned a few days later and actually kept my number and tried to ask me out for a drink several times. I just kept saying I wasn't free and he stopped contacting me. These fitness trainers and sales consultants can be rather pushy sometimes....

Time to open my eyes.....

16 Feb 2008 12.50am

Aspects of Love

I came across an article on Saturday's Straits Times. It was a special report on love stories about 8 different couples (9 Feb 08 The Straits Times, Special Report, pS1, "Aspects of Love") There was a particular story that touched me. A handicapped man who lost his right leg plucked up the courage to ask a girl whom he likes to be his girlfriend. Although a handicapped, the guy is a very successful insurance agent who overcame a lot of his disability by knowing how to swim and even travels a lot. The girl said yes but within a year into the relationship, the guy broke off with her, saying their personalities are different and the girlfriend nags too much. But in fact, the guy was not confident of himself and felt he is not good enough for her and worried how people would see the two of them together. The girl was sad. A year later, the girl met an accident and it was just plain instinct that she decided to call him on her phone. The guy reacted immediately and helped her with everything in her insurance claims. Oh, by the way, the guy knew the girl 'cos he was her insurance agent. That's how they met. And then, he apologised to her and they got back together again. Till today, they are still very happy together and even got married. Despite all the obstacles and hardships, this couple managed to weather through everything and depend on each other for love and support. The girl has never mind his disability and the guy overcame his weakness and proved to be strong to her and to himself. I guess love conquers everything...even for the disbeliver...

There are just so many aspects of love. I just finished watching a chapter of Heroes. In this story, Mr Bennet chose to have his memory erased by the Haitian so that Claire can be saved. Realising her father's love for her, Claire hugged him for the last time.......so touching and so sad....but I don't know what happened after that. Stopped at the end of that chapter.....

Anyway I have put up a video clip from the movie Sweeny Todd, called Joanna. My favourite song from the movie. He loves her so much, he wants to steal her... Enjoy! : )

11 Feb 2008 11.40pm

Tiring New Year....

This new year has been tiring......I have not catch up on my sleep yet....

I dislike the visiting part. As usual, my grandma and aunties will ask me the same question year after year on why I have no boyfriend and whether I am seeing anyone....arrggh...think next year I should go holiday and stay away from chinese new year!

I think I have drinking too much lately...went drinking again last night at New Asia Bar at Swissotel the Stamford (erm..i think the hotel has changed its name?). Anyway its located on the 70th floor.....the view was magnificent! You can almost see the whole of singapore up there!

3rd day of CNY was nothing much. Went to a fren's place for visiting and then met xh at plaza sing for dinner. He was telling me that when you live your life in the same routine for too long, it gets really mundane. Example, go to work, finish work, go home, have dinner, watch tv and sleep, same thing the next day. Weekend go out with friends...blah blah...its like everything is moving along in a straight line....boring. If we were to work overseas, we can all see things in a totally different view, do things in a totally new way....you learn and observe more.... I think I need a change, or at least, find something that I really like to do. Grab the chance once I find it....

On my way home, I met an old friend on the train. We used to work together during my days as a waitress after "O" levels. He is doing well in a sales job that pays reasonably well even though he did not finish secondary school. He also told me that he is getting married soon and his wife-to-be used to be his client and holds a high position at a mnc. I was quite interested by this point as my friend is quite an ah-beng (he is not so ah-beng now, still a bit but looks professional) and his wife is a modern-day career woman. He told me there were difficult days when things didn't go well but what held them together was the support they gave each other when either of them met an obstacle and a listening ear when either one is feeling down. I was quite inspired by his story. A lot of their friends didn't expect them to go on strong that long. The reality of having a partner who is much higher educated can be intimidating at times but in a relationship and even in reality, you don't measure a person's love or worth by how much education he or she has, but its the character that is more important.

Lately my acne is working up again. Ever since I started my new job, I have been wearing make-up to work everyday and I guess the make-up irritates my skin. Sigh...looks a bit bad now. I hope I don't have to go back to the doctor and get another round of injection. Imagine a needle poking into your red and swollen pimple.......it hurts :( More water and rest?

Enjoy your remaining new year.....

10 Feb 2008 12.10am

Choose your Drinking Khakis carefully

Met Ed for a drink last night after my reunion dinner. On the way out, sy smsed me saying mery also wanted to meet for a drink. I didn't want to contact him but somehow he knew that I am going for a drink and called me. I smsed Ed that mery and cris will join us and he wasn't so thrilled with the idea........

Ed and I reached town first and we headed to The Balcony at Heeren. It wasn't crowded at all. Ed went to say hi to some of his ex-colleagues as he used to work there. We ordered our drinks and catched up with each other. We have not really chat for a long time as he was very busy with the concert. Seeing that I was not feeling that good lately, he asked wat was going on with me. After a while, cris, mery and merv arrived. We finished our drink and left to meet sy, sen and jos after their movie ended. Cher also came. We walked down to emerald hill. Mery wanted to go to ice cold beer but we couldn't go in as they didn't meet the age requirements (guys have to be 25 and above). So we went next door to No. 5. There was another fren of cris, S, who came to join us. And he really pissed me off towards the later part of the drinking session. Anyway all of us went to No. 5, ordered our drinks and had fun drinking and chatting. se and jos made a move earlier so left me, cher, sy and ed and mery and gang. cris's fren, S, got quite drunk after the drinks and started talking funny . At first it was ok cos he was funny. But after we left the place, he started spouting nonsense non-stop and it really irritated us. It was already 3am and cher was quite high already. Mery asked whether I want to go home already cos he still want us to continue drinking with them elsewhere. sy and I wanted to send cher home but mery and gang still want to continue to drink and somehow drag all of us along. I could have left but I didn't want to leave cher and sy behind, especially cher as she was getting drunk. Ed also had no choice as mery dragged him along as well. I had an argument with mery and gang cos they were so persistent in bringing cher with them, knowing she was getting high. sy told me to calm down and Ed told me not to worry, just one more drink and we will leave. We went back to Balcony and on the way there, Ed told me a startling news and it got me wary on one of the guys. All the more made me want to stay and watch out for cher.

At Balcony, cris' fren, S, got more irritating and started talking rubbish, offending me and sy and even the bouncer at the pub. He was knocking glasses over and got my phone wet. Luckily my phone was ok and S asked me whether I was pissed off. I said yes and told him shut up. He really pissed us off and made me angry. He's the kind of guy who cannot stop talking nosense when drunk and yet do not know that he is offending people. He should just shut his trap.

Anyway we ignored him and Ed and I continued our conversation that got interrupted earlier with all this crap. We left at about 5 plus and sy and I sent cher home. So tired when I got home.....stoning....

Went visiting in the afternoon and I was so sleepy. I was practically stoning the whole day. Headed to the temple first but I didn't went in to pray. After that, we went to my grandma's place and then to my aunt's place.

Every year, we will eat dinner at my aunt's place and she will never fail to cook her best dish, salted vegetables with duck soup. Its really sour and salty but that's what makes it nice. Very delicious and you must eat it with sambal belachan. She added brandy into the soup this year, making it extra nice. Its the third dish, at the back in the picture on the left. There was also stewed duck, stir-fry leeks with chicken, bamboo shoots, deep fried shitake mushrooms stuffed with meat, ngoh hiang and roast pork. Yummy....:) I love my aunt's pineapple tarts and kueh lapis too....I only get to taste it once a year. Its unlike those I have tasted from outside bakeries.

You know, I was thinking of doing some things for the new year ahead. Kind of like a new year resolution.....

• Stop Sighing....I think I have to be more positive and shoud try to sigh less...
• Try baking and cooking: I have always been interested in baking but need to spend money to get an oven first, which i am considering....not sure if my mum is ok with this idea. I can cook simple stuff and can follow recipes well. Maybe this year I should improve on it.....Hey, I got 1st in Home Economics in secondary school ok.......
• Regain my driving skills: erm....no need to elaborate on this right? haha....don't think I should waste over $1000 that I have spent on getting my licence.
  

Stayed at my aunt's place till very late today cos my dad played mahjong with my cousins. At least good to see that he enjoyed it and that he is still alert enough to play. Has been ages since he played mahjong. I had wanted to play with my friends but I was too tired....

I had brief fantasy thought today...haha....but i know it won't come true.

Have a Fantatic Chinese New Year!

8 Feb 2008 2.50am

Chinese New Year Resolution??

Things at the office are not that hectic for the past few days but was quite occupied as I have to cover some stuff for my colleague who went on leave.

Met suz for a while after work yesterday to do some last minute shopping. I bought a pair of levis :) at a discount but I can't wear it for CNY as the store is not taking any alteration requests at the moment. I have to bring it back after CNY to alter the length. Then YA came and we walked over to Wisma Atria. At the mrt station, we bumped into edie, our previous bandmate in poly. So we chatted for quite a while and learnt that he started his own events company. Then I realised it was approaching 8pm and made a move first. I went to school to join the symphonians for post concert celebrations at below the loft. So there was everyone...drinking, playing pool....hanging around talking.....mel and sy almost prevented me from drinking, trying to take my cup away but i assured them i was sharing with cher. I noticed cher was a bit blue and she was about to confide in me when the others came over to join us and we started playing the finger guessing game. Before this cher was a bit high already....... after the game, she told me wat happened and I adviced her, telling her my views. She started to cry 'cos she is going to miss this band and seeing her like this, I felt sad too and began to think about myself. Myself and the others comforted her and we continue to drink, talk, take pictures and then toss Yu Sheng! Haha....we continue to play the finger guessing game with last bottle of white wine. Mery was rather touchy-feely when he is drunk....you know like grab my legs, put his arms around others......wierd...They started to play twister after all the bottles of wine were finished. And then I just sat at the couch, sianz that my drink was finished. I was just staring into space when mel came over and noticed I was looking glum. I started to tell him wat's wrong.....my job, my life....everything.....is not going well....been trying so hard for the past few months.....and thenI just broke down. And it didn't stop. mel brought me tissue papers and comforting words and then a drunk sy came over and told me not to cry.....but I couldn't stop. All the pain and frustration just came out and I couldn't stop it. They had to bring me out and eil brought me to the toilet to wash my face. When we came out, I saw yx msg me whether i am ok. I didn't see him at the loft at all but knew he must be around. I just sat at the study table outside the loft, staring into space. mel brought me to campus green and a few others came along. We just sat there, me continue to tear and mel consoling me. law, ms and sy were there...se too but went over to ice cold beer after mel told him that maybe its not a good idea to have too many people around me. i didn't expect law to be there...of all people...to offer me words of comfort. I just kept crying really really hard and mel sitting beside me telling me to be strong. How he was once like me...and that changing myself and asking whys will not really make me happy. I think I actually cried non stop for like two hours.....while all this was happenning to me...poor sy was drunk and started puking. Lukily ms watched over her. The others came back from ice cold beer. I saw yx and he talked to me too....everybody seemed concerned. I think this incident made me realised even more that in times like this, I have friends like them whom I can turn to. mel said he was glad I was willing to pour out to him as it showed that I trusted them. We shared cab home, ensured sy got home safely. Before I slept, I smsed my gratitude to all of them......

When I woke up this morning, I felt so damn tired. My eyes were hurting like hell.... It was not that busy at the office but something last minute cropped up. I met suz and YA for lunch and she passed me a cd. Then I headed home, took a nap and then went for a run. Had reunion dinner with my family just now. I hope everyone will have a fantastic chinese new year!

新年快乐！

6 Feb 2008 9.31pm

Post Concert Syndrome

Concert is already over.....but el camino real still played over and over again inside my head over the weekend....oh no......

Slept till about 1130am on sat and did a bit of house chores. I was kind stoning the whole day.....still felt a bit tired form the concert night before. Met lj to watch Sweeny Todd. Its Johnny Depp, so I definitely had to watch it. Its a musical and its also the first time I heard Johnny Depp sing. And he's good. Overall the movie is not bad and the melodies are nice but lj felt that the lyrics are too simple and have no depth in it. I love the song "I love Joanna". I'll steal you.....Joanna....I'll feel you.....Joannna.

After the movie, we went to bugis to meet the rest of the gang to have steamboat. There are 3 Chong Qing steamboat restaurants there and zz got confused with the actual restaurant where she made the reservation. But anyway we got the right place in the end....our reservation got overlooked. We had to wait but the spot that we got was cooling and not so crowded so it was ok.

rl got us some tidbits that she bought in Netherlands which was real yummy. I saw ys and ali while we were eating. Both of them were also symphonian players in my batch. They happened to pass by and we chatted for a while. Its been a long time since I last saw my uni friends....I was dead tired when I got home...and went to bed soon after.

As usual, woke up this morning and went for bodycombat class. I wished my instructor happy new year and he seemed quite surprised when i approached him. The smile on his face was so funny....I have attending his class for 2 years or so but have never really spoke to each other. I guess he recognise me as one of the regulars in the class. And he's quite a looker... : P

Met Suz in the afternoon at woodlands as she invited me to her church service. Nope, I'm not converting to a christian but suz said her pastor talks about interesting topics that are inspirational and thought it could help me. So I just went to listen...to find out for myself.... Today, the pastor was talking about the evolution of the universe. That God created them all and science do not fully explain how the universe was created. Some of the points made sense, some were quite puzzling to me which I couldn't understand. suz said today's topic is a bit boring. Pobably I will attend another service where the topic is more interesting. Also had a long chat with suz.....sometimes I'm glad my friends are here for me.

Tidied up my room a bit today....not looking forward to Chinese New Year. The only attractive part is that it will be a holiday!



3 Feb 2008 10.41pm

Ay Caramba!

I woke up at about 9.30am this morning and felt quite fresh, especially since I took leave today for the concert. Met ym, el and cher for lunch at Din Tai Fung, Raffles City and then we head to Victoria Concert Hall. When we got there, we took our time to get dressed, warm up a bit and then all of us took turns to take section photos by a professional phorographer.

We settled down for rehearsal at about 3pm and managed to go through some important parts. My el camino real sounded ok only and I asked Jo what he thought of it. He commented on a phrase from the same page and I took note of it, making sure I will do it during the actual performance. I noticed lately that Jo is not the same person as before. Compared to last time when I just know him, he has opened up more to other people and seems more talkative. Smiles a lot more and is friendlier too.....:) During the rehearsal, the photographers went around the stage to take pictures of the band. My conductor seemed a bit irritated by the shutter noise....hahah.....

We stopped rehearsal at 5 pm. Then I saw an sms from jac and realised he is doing our concert recording. Chatted with him for a while and asked how he is doing. Took dinner and then I went back to the changing room to get ready. As cher and I did our make-up, I told her that I envy her going to Spain for exchange (if her application is successful). I really wish to go there one day. She looked a bit sad and she told me why. Let's just say she wants to take a long break and I am going to miss having her around in the band. After we got ready, we went on stage for warm up and tuning and then standby at the backstage. Took some photos while we waited.....

And then we performed the first piece. Malaguena was so so....Westside Story was ok too....."maria" went rather well but I fumbled a bit in the second phrasing. The first half was rather fast and it was only 8pm when it ended. My conductor doesn't allow us to mingle with the crowd during interval so I called yh and the others to meet up after the concert. I sneaked out for a while when I heard Jo mentioned seeing ph and went to see her. Stood by the stage and talked to her for a moment. She lost weight. Sigh, if only ph, dr, yx and hm also played with us...miss having them around.

The percussion ensemble did their sambal item which got a rousing reaction from the audience. Then its back to normal repertoire as we got back on stage. Jo pat on my shoulder and wished me good luck. Law too.. Second Suite came and went and then came the important piece of the evening, El Camino Real. The french horns went a bit too fast at the beginning but the whole piece sounded quite good. The middle slow passage was also not bad but the oboist had some problem with the notes. Understand that it was the instrument problem, not her fault. My part at the 8/8 bar went ok.....did what Jo told me and then the solo. Took all the breath I need and I sounded nice. I knew this cos Jo tapped on his euphonium after I finished it (a sign by fellow musicians to commend that the soloist or section played good). The last fast section proceeded well and the audience liked it! Jo said I sounded good cos I took in more breath. Got a few positive comments from my friends after the concert and I was glad the solo went well. At least no major mistake.

Went down to meet my friends after the concert and hanged around at the reception area until almost everyone left. I went to thank an ex-colleague who also came for the concert and got a few comments as well. While I was talking to him, a young boy came up to say hi and it was the guest player who came to play with us at convocation last August at Suntec City. Almost couldn't recognize him due to his funky hairstyle. Congratulated me and I thanked him for coming to the concert. Suz gave me a bouquet of flowers.......I was so happy to receive it. Its the first time I receive a bouquet at a concert. :) Took pictures with them. Thank you yh, 3sa & bf, yx & fren, lj, kev, suz and YA for coming to the concert! I really appreciate your support!!!

A lot of people asked why I didn't want to go off from vch and chose to go back to school and I just simply answered that I have no other life, too much time anyway.....so just go back to school with them....

After my friends left, I hanged around to chat with yx and some other people. Shared some gossip and bitching....haha.....then cher and I quickly went up to grab our stuff to head back to school. yx hanged around with us till the truck came to load the stuff and while waiting, we talked about my job and he told me to start thinking about being more positive and not to run once i meet obstacles at work. He encouraged me and told me to be more tenacious. Think through what I have learnt so far about myself and how to be better, which I have not done a lot. He told me to use the example when I was in symphonia exco as a librarian. How I learnt to manage a library with no prior experience at all. Although yx could have step in to help me, he did not do so at that time but let me run my own show and somehow set up a library that somewhat has a system, even though we have different views on managing the library. He asked me whether I have thought thru what I learnt about myself and the process of managing the library during those times, but sadly I did not. I remembered I was stressed out and bad tempered, showing my frustrations at the band members, which is totally not right. And yet all these years, I did nothing about it and it has cost me my sight in my career path and my relationship. I was so sad when I thought about it and yx is right. Like what I have previously mentioned in my other post, I should tolerate and be positive. Do something to improve the situation and not just simply give up. Sigh....as we sat in the bus back to school, I looked out the window, thinking thru what yx said and a tear rolled down my cheeks.

When we reached school, we took quite a long time to move everything back. As usual we dilly-dally around the bandroom, took more photos and finally got our asses out from school. Cher didn't joined us as her mum was coming to fetch her and she went to kopitiam to buy food instead. Hugged her a goodbye. I asked if she was ok and she said yes, just a bit irritated. Think both of us love this band too much. And have too many things going on in our lives. The rest of us went to Mac at bras basah complex. What a place to go after a successful concert. While we were eating, Pao asked whether both of us should be sitting in the audience next year. I have a wierd feeling at this question but I told him I would prefer to perform in the concert. A wierd place to end off the concert but anyway we will have a post celebration to make up for it. Its been a bitter-sweet night. Thank you Symphonia!

2 Feb 2008 4.43am

18 hours to go......

2nd day at work without my boss around....too bad its the last day to enjoy the peace and serenity. Well its still work as usual as we attended to the tasks at hand and sudden media enquiries. Today I actually have doubts about my capability as a colleague from another department told me to check on matters with an external partner which I should have thought of it and deal with, especially since it lies in my job scope. Sigh, I felt so discouraged after the phone conversation, thinking to myself why I didn't think of all those things that I should check with the external partner. I think my colleague must be pondering in his bubble as he was talking to me "what the hell is this girl doing? Why is it that she didn't think of all these important matters?" Lately I have been thinking whether I am trying to run too fast a race which I am not ready to handle yet. I must say I am still not quite used to the pace around here and I am not sure whether I just need time to adapt to it or is it that I just don't have the ability yet to do it.

I was the last to leave office as I had to finish some work that requires my GM approval. I quickly headed to VCH and stopped by Isetan Supermarket, lingering around the bakery there and wonder if I should grab a bread. Then I changed my mind and put the tray back. In the end, law smsed to ask if I wanted dinner so he bought me Mac. The minute I reached vch, I wasted no time by warming up first. As I was eating my dinner, mel told me he has managed to settle a lot of stuff for the concert and looked less stressed......hopefully.....

The rehearsal was ok...some parts sounded good. I thought I could have played better. Not sure whether its due to my tiredness that I couldn't pitch properly. Hope I can do it later!

Took the train home with cher, sy, den and aud. Cher entertained us with her fuuny account of someone from school....bitching about that person....hahaha...

18 hours to go to showtime....: )

1 Feb 2008 1.01am