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thoughts...

I miss playing....been almost a month since the band took an exam break. Practice will resume this week but I wonder if I can make it. Too many things to do for the event this weekend but I hope I can make it for friday's practice at least....

Situation at home is not too good....told my problems to cher and I felt so much better. There are many families out there where the relationships are not going well. Same for cher and I was glad I could relate to her when she told me her problems. I only know that I want to move on in my life and take care of whatever matters I can.

I don't want to whine about work but I can't help but wonder why things are so screwed up over here? Things always come in at the last minute and I was pulled into this crap with pieces everywhere and trying to put them together well when it could be done much earlier. I think my brain is dying.....from all these selfishness, irresponsible and uncommitted attitude from other people. My mental strength is going down...I can't process my thoughts as well as before.

It aches when you can't get what you want. Should I just stand from afar and watch, wishing and hoping that it will be mine someday but somehow know or get the feeling that it is not possible, or try to fight for it and not regret for not trying. But......

21 April 2009 10:35pm

Taken

Into the 4th month of year 2009. Time sure flies....

Last weeekend celebrated ger's 28th birthday (and also a belated birthday celebration for carol). I'm just glad that this bunch of sec sch classmates still bother to gather together every now and then to celebrated each other's birthday. A routine that we religiously followed since we left sec sch. As all of us get older, I wonder what will the future bring for me and for my friends....

That night after dinner, ger and gang decided to go bowling and we headed to orchid country club. It has been a very long time since I stepped into this place. I had my first job as a part-time waitress at a cafe here after my O level exams and missed those days. As the car turned into the car park, I thought I caught a glimpse of my ex-captain and guessed he must still be working at the club all these years.

Thurs was cher's birthday and her friend planned a surprise dinner for her and got mel to coordinate with the others to join in. She was so touched that we were all there. She looks happy.

Tried a two-hour bodycombat class yesterday at the gym and brought yh along. I was amazed I could endure till the end of the class..almost...we went to Iluma to catch the movie Taken, which is really good. Intense and grippling till the every end. Its scary that human trafficking still happens, especially to women and children. Ladies, be wary when you talk to strangers overseas. yh and I were talking before the movie started and I was saying how I am now back to my pre-relationship days. Before my previous relationship, I was leading a life like now - work, band and friends. Being single for more than a year now, life has been pretty ok. Like what yh said, I think music saved me. Continuing to play in the band kept me alive in a way...occupied my mind when I am stressed at work and my friends there are great. suz certified me "all clear", as in full recovery mode although I have other things to worry about. Its still scares me a little although I hope to meet someone. xl commented that I am a bit aloof when it comes to meeting guys, saying that I need to be more initiative. I hope I don't seem to be that aloof.

11 April 2009 11:37pm