A Less Extravagant Christmas

I didn't spend a lot of money on christmas presents this year. With the economic downturn, I decided to be cautious in my spending. I even skipped Mango sale! I think Christmas is not about giving and receiving presents but spending time with people that you care for and letting them know that they matter in your life. I bought some small gifts for my colleagues and received some as well, including unusual wishes. I also gave him a small present and he was surprised by it and I'm glad it was a nice surprise for him first thing in the morning. Well it was just a small token. I hope he don't think it was too simple a gift.

Went for ktv with Teow and gang on Christmas Eve. Despite the busy lives we lead, somehow with this gang, the thoughts and gestures are still there all these years. We still keep in touch with each other, giving updates on our lives. Thanks guys, for the gifts and organising this christmas eve gathering. The singing was really funny....

Gm came back and the whole ytss gang met for dinner at marina square on tue. I have not seen them for a year since Gm's last visit. I guess everyone was pretty much the same as I did not get a chance to catch up with everyone. The one thing that struck me was how distant I felt about them even though I did not keep in touch with them for the past year because normally the feeling is still casual whenever we meet up. But that dinner gathering felt different. sm is getting married this sat and I'm happy for her. Not sure if she is tired or anxious about the wedding but we didn't talk much. Hopefully I get to catch up with them at the wedding dinner this sat.

I saw kev online just now and we wished each other merry christmas. He said he missed the old days at spband. Me too....time just passes too fast. Things have changed too. The poly band is still doing well and I heard the alumni band sounded good at the recently concluded concert. Der mentioned their uniform has changed. They have done away with the long black gown for girls. It is still a dress but some wierd colour or stripes at the collar? Anyway, things have become different.

I really wish 2009 will be a better year for me.

11:46pm 25 Dec 2008

Love is all Around?

I spent the whole evening yesterday watching movies on TV, Superman Returns and Love Actually. I have watched Superman Returns at the cinema when it was released a few years back but never seen Love Actually. I love it. "Love actually is all around". How true it is.....or is it? I think I am surrounded by friends and family who love me. I am just lacking in love from the opposite sex. Alhough as much as I yearn to be in love, I am also afraid of the pain. One of the characters in Love Actually chose not to express his love for the woman he loves up till she married his best buddy. And when the girl found out, he said it was a way of self-preservation for not telling her how he felt. I wonder if it is better to be in love and feel the pain and agony of loving someone who also loves you or is it better to be loveless and be free of any pain and sufffering? Well, the guy did express his love to the girl (in messages written on cards!) in the end and got a kiss back from her. After that, he said to himself "enough now. enough". I wonder what he meant by that. Expressing his feelings to the girl so that she knows is enough for him? I guess so. At least he will not regret one day for not telling her.

My company had a christmas party event last thursday and it was the second last event of the year for us. Setup in the afternoon was tiring, having to pack 200 bags of goodies. The temp staff we got was terrible as he kept complaining that he is sick, can't work. I gave a good earful. If he is sick, he should not come to work as i think it is not worth it for him to tire himself out when he is sick. If he wants to stay to work, then he need to stop complaining. That is the right attitude. But he continued to be whiny, unhelpful, unenthusiastic and slow throughout the whole night and I decided not to engage him anymore for future events.Even though he related to my colleague that he is jobless and has a family to provide for and she felt bad for telling him off, I still felt that his work attitude sucks. Every person in this world has difficultites in their lives. If you can't help yourself, no one can help you. If this temp staff actually has a good work attitude then people will want to engage him for more job assignments and he will have income for his family. I really wonder why a man of his age didn't think of that. The event went ok...I think...although the printer made a hiccup with our poster and the giving out of the goodie bag was quite chaotic. But at every event, I learnt something new. Hopefully I will remember what I learnt and not repeat any mistakes. I must not.

Saturday was the last event of the year which I was helping for my colleague. The venue was cosy but quite out of place for some guests. After that hanged out with teow and A. We caught The Day the Earth Stood Still. Sad to say it was not that fantastic. The plot is good but I feel that the whole movie did not develope the story enough to create any depth.

The highlight was when he told me I looked great that night. :)

15 Dec 2008 11:24pm

my race.....

I ran at my first Standard Chartered Marathon yesterday, completing the 10km race in approx. 1 hr 27 mins. I took it slow as I was afraid that my knees will not be able to hold out the distance. The pain came at the 5k mark. I was glad Huim was with me throughout the race and spurred me on as we sprinted the final metres to the finishing line. Extreme pain followed....

The reason why I run at the long distance races is that I want to develop a strong mind and a healthy body. I think if I can endure the pain that I experience during a run, my mind should be able to take me through any challenges, such as those that I experience at work.

After the race, all of us (suz, her bro, YA, Pat, Ed, Yh and HuiM) went for breakfast at Bugis Junction's Ya Kun Kaya Toast. I always like the feeling of having a meal and conversation with a close group of friends. Makes me feel cosy. Although I don't exactly have this feeling at home, I just don't want to think too much about it.

Attended shir's christmas party in the evening which she organised it with her church cell group mates. Her friends were really nice, trying to make us feel at home. As much as I know that they are nice and friendly people, I just don't think I will convert to a christian. I believe Jesus exists but I just don't hear or feel him talking or answering to me, with all due respect. I just don't feel anyhing. So every year at christmas time, when shir invited me to her church gathering, I will go as its an invitation from her and the whole group of us gals will also go and take it as a small gathering for us. I'm not exactly there to be touch by Him. I'm just happy to hang out with shir and my gang of caring angels.

I didn't see ms at yesterday's race but if she is going ahead with her India trip, I really pray that she will be safe and sound.

I miss the msning.....
8 Dec 2008 2:27pm

Am I suffering from side effects?

Just learnt on monday that I was supposed to help my colleague with her event which happened yesterday. Some miscommunication last week and I thought I was helping out at another seminar instead.

It was a tieup event with another external partner and I was appalled at how clueless and disorganized they are. My colleague was frustrated with them for not knowing the details leading to the start of the event such as space allocation and such. All questions were answered with "I am not sure" and without answers, we couldn't plan our event. It was only on friday (the third day of the partner's event)that we were able to see the whole setup (which they actually change everything on the second night after a big boo boo ). So we discussed with the executive from the external partner side on where we want to set up our things for the program on sat.

And guess what, after getting everytrhing ready yesterday, the executive's boss came and want us to change the things that we have laid out. More disorganisation and it was about an hour to the event. The exec's boss didn't seem that nice to us until my boss came and saw what happened. To make matters worse, they let the public into the venue when it was supposed to be a two-hour private event. I admit our guest attendance was not that good but the food we catered was for our guests only and ended up everyone helped themselves to the food. The external partner boss later apologised and offered to share the cost. But we won't as we felt its not nice to do that. Later, the external partner boss even asked my colleague if everything is ok and also apologised to my boss for everything being so messy. How fake. I bet she was compalning about us as I saw her talking to her staff with her eyes on me and her expression gave it away at a particular moment when I was speaking to my friend.

From this event, I learnt from my boss on the things that we will notice as an outsider's point of view. As we are not the organiser, just a partner, we can pinpoint the things that went wrong at this setup which are unacceptable by my company's standards. For example, the plasma TV that they got in for us had a dirty screen with tiny specks of dried white paint on it! I really wonder why the exec didn't look at it. Even their black panel displays and coverings were badly done. There were fingerprints and white paint smudges on the black glossy surface of their display. They should have ensured that all these were cleaned up. Imagine what their guests will say when they spot all these?

So fedup....sometimes I think this is the only avenue for me to vent my work fustrations as I can't let it out anywhere. The work exposure is great. Although I am accepting the downsides of the job, sometimes the frustration is too big to ignore. I wonder if I am suffering from sides effects of my work. Like insufficient sleep, stress, anxiety and poor memory (too many things to remember!). Even my friend said that I am being over sensitive over some dinner matter and whether I was too stress. Sigh.....another matter was that my boss could not convert me with the freeze in headcount but what she can do is to extend my contract for another year. That I will accept as I don't mind but I hope they will increase my staff benefits with more annual leaves. I will have to talk to her about that.

After the event yesterday, I caught up with lc and her bf. Walked around in far east plaza but couldn't find what I wanted. Got a pair of cropped pants at Mango instead. We also took some photos with the christmas lightings at orchard. This year's decor seemed a bit bland, including the tall christmas trees at Takashimaya. The design looked traditional, not enough bling and heartwarming aura to it.

Hoping for a better week ahead...

30 Nov 2008 10pm