Why bother?

Today was the first time I got so angry over work since I joined. I really don't understand why people are so inconsiderate of how their actions will have a direct effect on other people's work efficiency. There is no excuse when it is your responsibility to get a task done and to get it done properly. Its natural that human beings will err at times but we should always try hard. As a result of someone's irresponsibility and tardiness, I could not submit in my POs in time. sigh....in addition to that, i was with greeted with sarcasm when I asked a senior colleague a question which she thought I should know. But I don't as it was my first time attempting the task. In life, there is always a first time in everything. Same goes for work. You learn new things everyday and should ask whenever you are unsure of anything. Like yx used to tell me, its better to be unsure and ask so that you will perform the right procedure instead of acting like you know it but did the wrong thing. Everyone works in the same company and should help each other. Why give such an attitude? I guess maybe in this day and age, the working world has become less tolerant and impatient with people who bother to ask questions.

Going on to happier things....we celebrated yt's birthday on sat at KTV Party World and learnt that she is with a new man. She looked so in love. Glad to see that she is happy. She wasn't this happy with her ex. But I can't say the same for myself. Met up with suz, YA and yh after the ktv. Had dinner and watched Changeling. The story is moving. Persistence and hope can really make a difference in your life. While waiting to get into the cinema as they were buying drinks, yh asked me if it is better to be single or attached? Knowing why she asked this question with the problem she is facing now, I told her that the grass always seems greener on the other side. Although I hope to be in a relationship again, I am so afraid of the pain that it brings.

Need to brace myself for tougher times....

20 Jan 2009 11pm

waiting....and be strong

It wasn't a fun weekend. I had to work yesterday for an event and then attended L's wedding dinner. He looked really happy. Sang a song for his bride and his speech inspired me a little in looking and waiting for love. Seeing everyone around getting married, I can't help but think maybe I wasn't destined to spend my life with anyone. Cught up a little with old friends from my first company that I worked at after graduating from poly. Stev seemed to have aged a bit, spotted white hair at the sides of his head. Chatted a bit and he seemed to be doing ok. I remembered when he employed me for my first job, he gave me an impression that he does not like me at all. Always a frustrated or unfriendly manner whenever he communicated to me at work. After telling a friend that I intended to resign about 6 months into the job, his attitude towards me changed for the better. Guessed my friend told him despite telling her to keep it a secret. Well, its all in the past. Friendship can develop in a different way as the years go by. A bad start might end up good.

Cher is back and she came on friday's practice to see us. I was so glad to see her and updated her with a few of my recent happenings. This weekend was also band camp but I didn't stay over. I can't anyway since I had to work yesterday. Band camps always bring back nostalgic memories of my student days in uni.

My company introduced new initiatives to cut down on cost this year as we face the worst recession in years. No pay cut technically but it still causes a cut in our salary and thus a lesser take-home pay amount. I think its better than being jobless. I just need to cut back on spending and save more. Especially for my trip in July.

Difficult times ahead. Got to be strong.

11 Jan 2009 10:15pm

Leading to 2009...

Attended Sm's wedding last saturday. She looked ravishing in her gown. A little more interaction today I guess....ps was also at the wedding. Have not seen her for a long time and her happy-go-lucky cum joker personality is still there. At least I learnt that xh and I have a common interest in the Twilight series books and we rattled off excitedly about the story and the movies while js was caught sitting between us. I do miss the old days when I could feel so at ease with them. Maybe its because we have not been keeping in touch all these while. When the dinner ended, I told sm to catch up soon as I shook her hand. She said the same thing too. I really hope so.... They decided to go ktv after that but I didn't join them as I wanted to go to the gym early the next morning so I missed it. Hope they won't think that I am being anti-social or something.

I received a nice surprise on monday morning when I reach my office. It was raining that morning and I was feeling quite restless about work. A bright star-shaped note pasted on an envelope greeted me at my desk. It was a nice gesture which I appreicated it :). Spent the next few days trying to clear as much work as possible as my boss will return next monday. There are just so many things that everyday went by in a blur. I can't remember exactly what I was busy with but I always end up having to rush out my tasks when I have time to do it. sigh.....at the same time I had to cover my colleague's duties as she was on leave as well. Guessed I was overwhelmed with work? I am still trying to find out whether I am poor in organising my time or is there just too much work for me to handle at a time.

New Year's Eve. There was der, teow, jy, LC, Dx, HJ and myself at XY's place for a potluck gathering. Been a long time since I went to XY place. Think it was chinese new year some years ago when I was last there. We were chatting and and somehow technology came into the picture as XY was mentioning that her primary school students are more IT-savvy than her. It's kind of alarming to know how fast teens these days catch on in technology. And also the advancement in techonology. Like XY mentioned her schol had these smartboards which are like giant touch screen tablet PC where students can write their response or interact by touching/writing on the giant screen instead of clicking the mouse on the monitor. I wouldn't be surprise that such hi-tech equipments will be a common sight in our offices in the next few years. HJ felt that such advancements are too much of a waste in resources and are such inventions necessary. In a way, its true that too much money is being spent on such inventions to improve our daily lives but as in any civilisation, technology improvements are part of the growth process. Der was saying there are also new yet-to-come-into-place stuff like GPRS-type cards for ERP charges. No gantry, just a sim card to track your vehicle location in order to charge your ERP accordingly. So if such technology come in place, there won't be any more privacy. Its kind of scary to know that such a day will come when your entire life is known to everyone due to techonology advancement. No privacy. After midnight struck, kev called us concurrently on skype to wish us happy new year. Because of interference, we kept to der's phone and spoke to him on speaker. Went through his Austria apartment pictures that he posted in facebook while he talked to us on the phone. It was funny as he described his room and daily stuff. We were looking at the possibility of bunking in when we visit him in austria. If it ever happens....that is...

Any new year resolutions? I think at least I know I want to get my career going, work hard and tolerate the nonsense for a period of time. Also, I hope to find someone that I love and who loves me as well but this always eludes me. I hope I won't give up.....
I want to thank all my dearest friends for being with me for the past year when I was down and needed support and advice. You guys know who you are. I won't be here now without you all. Suz, thanks for your encouragement and guidance and being there to show me how strong I can become (erm...still in the process of becoming strong...not strong yet..haha). Yanhui, thanks for your comfort and friendship. I know you are there when I need to talk and I am also here for you :). Mel, you are the first guy that I have literally poured my sorrows to when I was still unrecovered. Thanks man. I really don't know what to say. Cheryl, you made me realised a lot of things going on in me. miss you leh, can't wait till you get back home! Thanks for all your help and advice in getting me to where I am today. Siyun, thanks for your smiles, positivity and caring thoughts. Ok, I promise to be mindful of my drinking? haha....

To my ex, I do wonder at times how you are doing despite that I have move on and that you have left a deep scar on me. Yes, I still hate you a bit but I appreciate the lessons that this relationship has taught me. If there is ever a day where we can talk and be friends again, I will be glad. For now, I know you are one who prefers and chose not to keep in touch unless necessary, without any feelings, like a cold-blooded snake. However, I hope you will remember that you will always have a friend like me and I'm always here.

And to you......hmm.....guess you won't know anyway.....

Sat 3 Jan 2009 3:54am