Cute long-awaited visit

I went for my first dental visit in ten years....sounds terrible right? I know but its because I have a phobia of going to the dentist since young. When I was in primay school, I had a bad experience with the dental nurse who is always so fierce and unfriendly and the process was painful, with all that drilling and scraping....and bleeding...:( my last visit was in secondary 4.

Well anyway, I made an appointment and turned up for the check up cum cleaning service on thursday. Heard a faint drilling sound and was feeling a bit nervous while waiting for my turn. Prior to that day, the clinic even sent an sms to remind me of my appointment and to call them to confirm it. I forgot to call them the night before and the clinic called to confirm the appointment with me. hmm...quite efficient service.....And so I waited for my turn and then a door was opened in front of me and a lady called my name. Went into the room and was greeted by my dentist. He sounded friendly and looked cute too....hehe..although he was wearing a face mask and I could only see half his face. The cleaning process was uncomfortable as it was painful at some parts but the cute dentist and his nurse were friendly and assuring so I went through the whole process unharmed. haha.......the treatment cost me $115 becaue I had to take an additional flouride treatment as I have deep valleys of stains on my molars and the dentist reccommended I take it to prevent decay. Oh...I obliged whatever he said....:)

Yesterday I met CH for a movie. We watched The X-Files but it wasn't that mysterious or supernatural enough. I would highly recommend that you wait for the DVD release. Met joy and K at the National Museum of Singapore where the Night Festival was going on. The museum was opened to the public for free and so I went in to meet them and we went around viewing the exhibits. It was fun catching up with the two of them as we have not seen each other for at least a year. It was really crowded inside the museum and everyone was attracted to this giant-sized renaissance statue of a nude man who was in pink floral prints. We took funny shots with him such as posing a kissing shot with the statue (His name was David) but the effect was not realistic enough :p.

I think I have band fatigue...need a short break from it. Still having that aimless and lost feeling.....

27 Jul 2008 7:26pm

Its what you do that defines you

The band organised a dinner and dance on tuesday at the penthouse to celebrate our victory at the competition. I was late and when I stepped into room, the recording of el camino real was being played. Kind of awkward as everyone was listening intently to it. I quickly sat down next to pao and was in time to listen to the slow movement. I thought to myself "this is good". After that, pao told us the incident of this group of people who was sitting behind him at vch when we were on stage to perform and they whispered "F**k" after we played our tuning chord. They were amazed that we sounded like an organ. Pao went on to say that the entire stage was vibrating with our beat during the John Williams March. He felt our impact. The evening went on with eating and talking, random photo-takings, video presentations. Then my conductor appeared with the wines. They played the two recordings again and I was proud that we sounded like that. It wasn't flawless but to have achieved what we had was a milestone in our 5 year history. yx said we should let vic and the others hear this. I agree. When the music started, I sat down with yx and pao instead of joining the others for dance. I feel ancient to join in the fun with them. Instead we chatted at the table.

I went on MC the next day. Somehow I must have ate something wrong that made me vomitted 3 times that day and I had body aches all over, especially my back. I couldn't eat anything at all until the evening where I took a light porridge.

So I went back to work on thurday and was told by my colleagues the previous day's happenings. Apparently my boss felt that I don't have much to do at work. I was really upset when I heard this so I wrote an email to my boss stating the entire list of tasks that are under my charge. And she replied back, giving an answer to every item that I listed to make it seem like every task that I am doing is trivial and easy. She obviously do not understand what is going on in my daily work. She doesn't see what I am doing for her at all. Oh well, I try to take things in my stride now. I won't stay in this hellhole for long.

There was a visit by a friend who have been away for a long time on Friday's rehearsal. I was so glad to see him. Ken told me he missed playing while he was recovering from a fever at the hospital. Welcome back!

Caught The Dark Knight with suz, YA and sw at Tampines Mall. The movie is good, especially Heath Ledger. It was just as depicted in the news. His performance as The Joker was excellent. Just as good as Jack Nicholson's or probably even better. But its sad that Heath is gone. We had dinner at Swensen after the movie. I ordered a Cheesy Steak Sandwich (If I remembered the name correctly) and the beef was not tender enough. A bit too chewy. The service wasn't efficient as the service staff did not bring us the basket of cutlery after we ordered. When the appetizer was served, we had no utensils and had to remind the waiter to bring it to us. But I guess they might be shorthanded that day.Did a bit of shopping with yh after suz and the others left for church. Tampines Central is like a mini Orchard Road during weekends. It was so crowded!

That night when Ken came for practice, he mentioned about learning another instrument so I suggested the oboe as he has a related skill in bassoon. Then I started thinking if I should learn something else or move on to a new activity. What would I be doing if I am not playing in band?

Its not what is beneath...its what you do that defines you....
20 July 2008 8:16pm

Gold!!!!!

That moment was surreal......

I have never been in a top band before.....although I have been in bands where we were awarded gold at competitions but not at the top of the division or category.....probably except for my poly band where we were the honour gold band at the sydney music festival back then.

We had a rehearsal last monday at victoria concert hall to hear how we sounded there as that was the competition venue. Jo came to hear us and sms ms the parts where we were not good from where he was seating. He commented that my solo was not projecting out and sounded a bit soft. That got me worried. Even my conductor said so. We had to be very clear in our articulations as it sounded muffled at the audience seats. It bothered me for the next few days.....I kept thinking about it...

At thursday's rehearsal, el camino real was getting there....the sound was there and John Williams March was perhaps the best that we ever played so far for that rehearsal. My conductor played the recording of the rehearsal at victoria concert hall on monday and we went through sections that he felt we should take note of. There were parts that we did very well and parts that are not quite there which we needed to work on it by sunday.I was stress out with my parts. I still couldn't get it out. My friends said it sounded timid...sigh.....during supper that night, I asked yx if he could helped me with my solo on sat but he said he wasn't free. I kind of guess the reason why he said no was that he felt I can do it on my own, just that I wasn't mentally strong enough to push myself or maybe he felt that he shouldn't need to bother too much with the competition on how others are playing. I kept thinking about those five bars till the last rehearsal on saturday. And then I got an unexpected sms from yx that he can do a quick run through with me before rehearsal. That meant so much to me and I really appreciated his gesture. So on saturday, I went down a bit early to practice and yx listened to my warm-ups and went through on how I should play, breathe deeper and feel my lips vibration. During full band practice, my sound was so much better. Thank you yx! We ended practice a bit late and by the time I went to bed, it was 1am plus. So tired.......

When I woke up the next morning, I saw sy's sms that she and mel will be sharing cab to school as they are getting mineral water for everyone. So I hopped along with them. We went through an extensive warm-up session and the whole time I just kept thinking about breathing deep and feeling my lips work. I tried to keep myself relaxed. By 1230pm, everyone got changed and tuned. Took the coach to vch and waited quite a while for our turn to tune up. While waiting, everyone had some fun by taking photos with each other. Aly was our photographer for the day. I tried to keep cool until when we lined up at backstage that I know that its either make it or break it. John Williams March was a bit unstable and stiff but the olympic fanfare section at the end sounded inspirational and I felt it. I thought we played El Camino Real really well although I was feeling nervous. My solo got went well until when I was going to pitch the high F that I felt it wasn't coming so I quickly pushed harder and reached the note. I felt I did a reasonable job compared to all the previous rehearsals. When we ended, the audience cheered really loud. The band rose and I looked up to where the judges were seating. They were smiling, nodding their heads and clapping and that sight gave me a hope. Gs shaked my hand after we got down from the stage. Ms gave me an assuring smile. I felt so relieved. We gathered downstairs and my conductor said the march was only ok but el camino real was a heartwarming one. There were positive comments from our friends. When I got on the bus, S spen came up and congratulated me, saying he was so afriad that I would screw up when he was listening to my solo. What a thing to say!

We kept our instruments in school and took more photos before heading back to vch. I was really tired as we took our seats in the hall to listen to the second half of the competition. Guess I didn't get enough rest for the past few weeks and not enough water for the day. I was damn sleepy and a bit dehydrated. It was only when a rather good band came on that I started to feel awake. Then the results came ".....with a score of 87.15, gold with honours" All of us were so happy when we heard the score. I was expecting another band to have a better score than us but as the emcee went on annoucing the scores of the other bands in the open division competition for that afternoon, we were still holding the highest score. I held hands with chyl and ms and couldn't believe the possibility of what was going to happen. The emcee paused for a moment before she announced the score of the last band and the anticipation was so high that I couldn't hold it anymore. All of us stood up and screamed and cheered and shouted and hugged each other when we heard the last band had a lower score. We are number 1. We won the open division. We were only expecting a gold and maybe a spot in the top 3 but never in the top spot. After all the hard work, we do deserve it although I wondered why some other bands did not get a higher score. I just couldn't believe it!

shed tears of joy......it has not sunk in yet....happy birthday mel!

14 July 2008

How am I perceived

Friday's rehearsal sucked for me. Not sure if that day's event affected my mood or that I didn't get to have dinner before practice and was playing on an empty stomach or that I have been too tired but I sounded bad for my solo. I'm worried for the competition. After practice, I went outside the hall and played in the open area to project out my sound. Sounded better compared to rehearsal. Tomorrow's rehearsal will be at Victoria Concert Hall. Only chance to achieve that sound and push hard. Sigh..... I was supposed to meet up my poly band gang that night but it was late after we left school and finished eating supper. The bus services had ended so I couldn't make my way to holland village. Went back with sy instead. I miss my poly band gang......the hangout sessions that we often had. I wonder how is everyone doing.

A friend of mine told me that I give her a negative vibe. She did not mean that I am a terrible friend or a bad person but my outlook on life and career seems to carry a negative feel. I was relating to her the difficulties I encountered at work and my opinion on my career. She could find a question to counteract everything single problem or reason that I brought up about my work issues and why I wanted a marketing career. I wanted to know whether it is wrong to seek a job that you are truly passionate about and want to give your full commitment. Its been two years since I came to the working world after graduating from university. I thought it is a normal process that you are still trying to figure out what you want to do in a lifelong career. Like what a manager previously told me, it has not been that long since I graduated. If I have decided on a career that I can see myself in for my entire working life, stick to it and you will find success. Another thing that my friend told me was that I must always speak from my heart whenever others question me on my career choice. Because people can easily sense your insincerity or uncertainty about yourself. They can tell whether you are speaking from your heart or just displaying good PR skills when talking to anyone. Sigh...am I really negative or insincere? I have never thought myself to be such a person and I have never wanted to be like this. This is not me but why do people think I am such?

So who am I?
6 July 2008 9:58pm

Hmmm.....

I just need him to listen, that's all....and not always insisting that he is right and he is not being defensive if he appeared to be. That is the problem with him. He thinks nothing is wrong with his attitude and it is affecting me and the section. He always uses the I-am-better-than-you tone whenever he points out a mistake to me. Sometimes, your teammate will realise the mistake and figure out how to recover from it without the others telling him or her. But he doesn't. He jumps at every opportunity whenever any of us make a mistake and doesn't wait and see if the situation got better. He thinks he is right and seems to do it to make himself seem superior than us. Although he is better at tempo and rhythmn, it doesn't mean he is a good player. I must admit he has improved a lot but he also need to accept other people's advice. If he doesn't, he might end up being overconfident and fall hard.

Exasperated.......

2 July 2008 12:45am